


The Princes of Fire and Ice

by peach_n_creamm



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Bottom Zuko (Avatar), Closeted Character, Diplomacy, Fluff and Angst, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-War, Slow Burn, Top Sokka (Avatar), Trans Male Character, Trans Zuko (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:26:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24677638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peach_n_creamm/pseuds/peach_n_creamm
Summary: The Fire Nation and the Water Tribes have a tense relationship, even after a peace treaty was signed. Zuko's advisors suggest a royal intermarriage between the countries. However, the royal families don't have a lot to offer. The North no longer has an heir, and the  only Southern princess is already well into a relationship with the Avatar. Which leaves only one heir to the throne.Inspired by this Tumblr post
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 206
Kudos: 1336
Collections: Fics that I want to read once they are complete





	1. Zuko

The world was weird after the war ended. The Fire Nation was sending out diplomacy missions all around the globe, they provided funding and aid to those in the Earth Kingdom, they were in the early stages of planning with Aang to rebuild the Air Temples as sanctuaries and memorial sites, and they'd been working with Fire Nation public education to help combat the century of propaganda that flooded the streets.

Zuko was still learning how to be Firelord, and legally he wasn't of age to rule yet. So he had a dozen advisors and Iroh to make decisions for him. Zuko was usually involved, or at least made aware of possible plans. However, they had yet to make peace with the Water Tribes. 

Zuko hadn't spent a lot of time with either tribe, but he was close friends with two people from the South Pole. Two people he grew to love like his family. Katara was the caring mother to the group with Zuko as her authoritative counterpart. A lot of people expected Mom and Dad to become more than friends, but she always felt too much like a sister. And Zuko would be lying if he said he hadn't considered Sokka for a moment. 

He was a perfect complement to Zuko. He was kind, sweet, funny, strong, relaxed, a real man's man. Everything Zuko wished he could be. But his infatuation was nothing more than a passing thought. He had a lot of passing thoughts. 

The one that stood out in his mind was Jet. He ended up being a dick that tries to kill him and his uncle, but Zuko couldn't deny how pretty he was. After their fight in the square died down, part of him wanted to find Jet and use that passion a little more pleasurably. He never did, but it lead him to tell his uncle something he'd never really spoken aloud before.

Iroh had kept teasing Zuko about inviting over a nice "lady friend" and Zuko was getting progressively more uncomfortable. So he sat his uncle down, sparks flitting between his fingertips, stomach boiling, and heart racing. 

"Uncle, I think I might be gay." Zuko nearly choked on tears, but crying wasn't an option right now. It was time to be strong and powerful and stand his ground. 

Iroh stood up and wrapped his arms around his nephew, "I am sorry, dear nephew. I should not have made assumptions about your heart."

Zuko remembered that hug all that time ago in the tea shop. He remembered feeling like a weight of bricks had been lifted from his shoulders. Iroh began teasing him about all the nice boys they passed in the street instead of nudging him when they saw a girl his age. Maybe that's why he felt so betrayed at the next meeting.

"Firelord Zuko, we have a proposal for you." The head advisor announced, "We believe it to be in the world's best interest to unite the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes. We suggest-

"I will not colonize anymore. It's off the table." Zuko sat back in his chair.

"We were thinking of something a little more civil. A civil union in fact, to bring out Nations tog-"

"We can't. I have no heir, and neither does the North. The South has one princess, and she's in love with the Avatar." Zuko shrugged. This seemed like a silly train of thought for them to follow. 

"Yes, my Lord. But you see, you are still only an heir by law. General Iroh is acting as an invisible regent until you are of age. And at his suggestion, we thought perhaps a male companion would be sufficient for our diplomatic needs." The advisor stood politely, his head gently bowed.

"My uncle told you this?" Zuko felt the metal arm rests of his chair grow hot and brittle under his hands.

"Yes. The General said that considering the absence of a princess, a prince may suffice. The marriage is only ceremonial, you may have as many mistresses are you please, Firelord." The advisor vowed deeper. 

"And if I say no?" 

"I'm afraid we can't allow that. This is crucial to our relationship with the Water Tribes." He shook his head.

"I need to go for a walk." Zuko stood and stormed out of the room as politely as he could. He hurried to the arena so he could scream and force his feelings out in big, burning balls of flame and anger. His blood burned in his body.

He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he whipped around to see who dared to do such a thing.

"Firelord Zuko, I see that you are angry." Iroh turned him around.

"Of course I'm angry. You told them." Zuko pushed Iroh away and continued walking. 

"You misunderstand. I only mentioned that a prince could be an alternative, I made no indication that a prince may be preferable to you." Iroh bowed slightly. Zuko swallowed, "Please consider the possibility that this will turn out alright in the end."

"The prince you had in mind was Sokka, correct?" Zuko sighed. 

"Yes. You appeared to be valuable friends to each other during the Avatar's training." Iroh smiled. 

"I suppose." Zuko thought back to their time on Boiling Rock. He remembered relaxing for the first time after everything ended. Up in the sky, a few miles away from camp. Zuko had grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a deep, powerful kiss. Thinking back on it, he couldn't figure out why he would do such a thing, especially because he immediately pushed Sokka away and spent the rest of the trip silent. They hadn't talked about it since.

"We will be sending word for the Prince. He should arrive in a few weeks." Iroh nodded. Zuko bit his lip. 

~*~

He arrived on time. Zuko was there to greet him. Sokka waved and smiled awkwardly. Assistants rushed to gather his bags for him.

"Hey." He kept an appropriate distance between the two. 

"Hi." Zuko squeaked. 

"So, we're getting married?" Sokka asked. Zuko nodded, "I, uh, made you something."

Sokka dug through his backpack and held out a red ribbon with a small alabaster hanging from the center.

"A betrothal necklace?" Zuko felt his face burning bright red.

"Yeah, well, we're engaged or whatever. And it's supposed to unite our kingdoms or something. So I figured, we, you know, include both customs. I guess if it's just for show, you can just wear it in public, or not at all. I kinda just made it to make it seem more real. You know?" Sokka took a half step forward. 

"Yeah, I know." Zuko stared at the floor, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" 

"I don't know. It's just weird and stupid. Do you want me to wear it?" Zuko asked. 

"If you wanna make sure it fits. I got the ribbon on the way here, and your neck is thicker than mine, so I wasn't sure." Sokka admitted. There was an awkward tangle of hands trying to decide who should tie it around his neck. It was a little snug, but Zuko could get used to it. 

"Do you want to see around the castle?" Zuko asked, "Since you'll live here half the time?" 

"Yeah. Sure." Sokka shrugged and followed him around the palace. He looked in complete awe of the building, "It's a lot different when I'm not fighting for my life."

"It's different without my father here. Would you like to see the turtleduck pond?" Zuko asked. 

"You have a turtleduck pond?" Sokka smiles for the first time since he came. Zuko felt his stomach twist. 

"In the courtyard. My mother and I used to feed them when I was a kid." Zuko said quietly. He kept his hands in his sleeves, picking at his nails discreetly. He walked over to the little pond and watched the turtleducklings following their Mother. 

"Still weird seeing you in like, royal clothes. And your hair is up. And you just look so, I don't know-" 

"Intimidating?" Zuko finished his sentence. He knew how scary the robes were. He knew how much is terrified him to see his father wearing the same clothes. 

"I was gonna say regal, but I mean I guess. A little." Sokka shrugged and crouched down to see the turtleducklings, "It's weird, for sure. You don't look like how I'm used to, but it's nice."

"Oh." Zuko blinked. He didn't expect a compliment, "Thank you. You look nice too."

"Nah, I'm just the same. The South Pole isn't much different, other than some of the kids meeting their dads for the first time. And everyone is pregnant again." Sokka shrugged.

"Some of the kids have never met their dads?" Zuko knelt next to him. 

"Well, some of the kids were babies when they left for war, some of them never came back. But this batch will have all their dads, so that's good." Sokka smiled and waved at the turtleducks.

"I'm sorry. I forget what I did to you sometimes." Zuko looked at the birds. Their lives were so easy. 

"You didn't do shit. You did scare Gran Gran that one time, but we're cool now." Sokka sat in the grass, "Who's idea was it that we get married?"

"Good question. It was a decision my advisors made without me. But my uncle suggested marrying me to a prince." Zuko scratched at his thumb under his sleeves.

"Why? Because you're gay?" Sokka teased. Zuko frowned, "Is that a thing here? Seems weird to have a gay wedding for the Firelord if it's a whole thing."

"It wasn't a thing, as you so eloquently put it, until my grandfather started the war and my father outlawed same-sex marriage." Zuko clenched his jaw tightly. 

"Shitty of him." Sokka scoffed, "Did you happen to change that law?"

"One of the first I abolished." Zuko said. 

"So, are you gay? You never answered my question. And if we're supposed to get married, don't I have a right to know?" Sokka looked over to him. 

"It's late. I'll show you to your room to freshen up before dinner." Zuko stood and brushed of his knees. Sokka sighed and followed him inside.


	2. Sokka

Sokka was still getting used to life in the palace. It didn't help that Zuko seemed stiff and upset about everything. Sokka was frustrated, they should at least be friends. He missed those long nights he used to spend swapping stories after the others had fallen asleep. He missed seeing Zuko's vulnerablity and compassion and shyness. He missed watching him help braid Katara's hair in the mornings.

But Zuko kept his distance. They would sit together at dinner, and then they would part ways for the night. Tonight Sokka had requested a private dinner, just the two of them.

"So, I've been thinking about seeing the city. I've been here a week and haven't been outside the palace." Sokka said, "Where are the best places to go?"

"I have no idea." Zuko said. 

"You have to have some idea. You lived here almost your whole life." Sokka pushed. 

"I lived in the palace. I was banished from my home. And I returned as Firelord, where I live in the palace." Zuko said. 

"Then let's go explore. Let's go buy local food and shop for new clothes so I'm not the only one in bright blue. We can go to a hot spring and not look at each other's-

"No!" Zuko shouted.

"Why not?" Sokka tilted his head. 

"Because it's a stupid idea." Zuko's eyes burned. Sokka took a deep breath. Water could put out a fire. So he should be able to help Zuko calm down. 

"What if we skip the hot spring and just wander around and take turns picking places?" Sokka leaned forward. 

"Why are you so adamant?" Zuko growled. 

"Because I wanna be your friend again. We're getting married and you'll barely look at me. Let your hair down, sneak out, show me old Zuko." Sokka insisted. 

"Old Zuko was a sad, lonely little boy." Sokka watched his fork start to wilt in his hand. 

"The Zuko I knew sat with me and told me about how scared he was to face his father, and how hard it was to trust someone, and how jealous he was of his little sister." Sokka crossed his arms.

"Maybe that was a mistake!" Zuko was yelling again. 

"Was that kiss at Boiling Rock a mistake?" Sokka asked. Zuko turned red. 

"That was a- I just- it- fuck you." Zuko slumped back in his seat. His face was redder than the walls behind him.

"You did this then too." Sokka said quietly, "You just blew up and refused to look at me or talk to me."

"I'm not blowing up." Zuko slammed his fists on the table.

"I can tell." Sokka rolled his eyes, "How about this. After dinner, let's go get your anger out in the arena. Whoever loses has to honestly answer any question the winner has."

"You can't bend." Zuko crossed his arms. 

"No, but I'm good with a sword. And I've heard the same about you." Sokka smirked, "Bending is an instant loss, must stay in the arena, no serious injuries or death."

"Let me get changed." Zuko groaned and left the table. Sokka smiled, this was progress. 

~*~

Zuko still had his hair tied up and out of his face, but it wasn't a neat little top knot sitting at the crown of his head, just a messy bun to keep his vision clear. He wore clothes Sokka recognized instead of his fancy robes. He looked so much more like himself. He couldn't be upset that his throat was bare. 

He had two swords in his hands against Sokka's meteor sword. And Sokka assumed right, Zuko was out of practice after sitting in the palace for a year. But Zuko had the advantage of two swords against Sokka's one. He was a powerhouse of physical ability, impossible to knock down. So Sokka played defense. He herded him into a wall and tried to exhaust him. He knocked out one of his swords and pinned him to the wall. The flat of his blade across his throat and wrist. 

Zuko sent out a blast of fire at him, Sokka ducked and rolled to the side. 

"No bending. You lost." He laughed. Zuko threw up his hands in frustration, "Come on, it's just a stupid game."

"I hate you." Zuko's teeth were clenched as tight as his white knuckle fists.

"Oh well. It'll pass." Sokka smiled, "Let's go inside and talk."

Zuko hung his head and followed him into the game room. It was once a library, Zuko had told him, but Iroh had converted it into a lounge space with pai sho and mojang and tea. Sokka collapsed onto a large cushion. Zuko remained standing. 

"Why did you kiss me?" Sokka asked. 

"I don't know." Zuko shrugged. 

"Honest answers only." Sokka grinned. 

"That is honest. I don't know. I was scared, and I had spent so much time with you, and you just looked so exhausted, and I was exhausted, and I was so happy to be alive, and it just happened." Zuko crossed his arms and sat across from him.

"You didn't talk to me for a week." Sokka reminded him. 

"I was embarrassed." Zuko wouldn't look at him, "And you didn't seem that into it."

"What bitch told you that? I was surprised for sure. I was not expecting the Prince of the Fire Nation to aggressively make out with me. But it was a good kiss, and I definitely wasn't upset." Sokka shrugged. He watched Zuko's cheeks turn pink. 

"I just assumed-" 

"Maybe you should stop assuming things about people." Sokka raised an eyebrow. He was begging for Zuko to ask to kiss him. He wanted Zuko to ask to try again. He wanted his hands on him. He wanted Zuko in his lap panting and pulling his hair. But mostly, he just wanted to be his friend.

"I'm sorry." Zuko let his knees come up to his chest. 

"Don't be. No harm done." Sokka held up his hands, "Your turn to ask a question."

"But I didn't-" 

"Who cares. Ask me anything." Sokka leaned back on his hands

"Uh," Zuko looked around at the room and saw the shelves of scrolls, "Favorite story you've ever read?"

"I can't read, but Katara read me this story about the moon coming down to earth to find love. I liked that story a lot." Sokka smiled

"You can't read?" 

"Not really. If you give me enough time I can figure it out, and I know a few words. But the letters just jumble themselves up and flip around and I always give up before I get anywhere." Sokka shrugged.

"Can you write at all?" Zuko asked. 

"No, but I can draw." Sokka grinned. 

"Barely." Zuko teased, "How did you get around?" 

"I can read a map just fine, and Katara and Aang both read pretty well. So if I couldn't figure something out, I just asked." Sokka explained. 

"You'll have to write your name at least. We can't get married without a signature." Zuko explained.

"Teach me then." Sokka said. 

"I don't know what characters to use." Zuko shook his head, "The characters in your name mean something beyond just how to say it."

"What does your name mean?" Sokka leaned forward. 

"Awakened." Zuko said.

"Cool. What if we just spell it like how to say it? And then we can ask Katara later how to really spell it?" Sokka asked.

"I suppose." Zuko said. He stood to find paper and ink.

The pair tucked themselves in the corner and Zuko spread out paper for the both of them. Sokka layed on his belly while Zuko sat on the floor. Zuko showed him where to draw the lines and corrected him when he did it backwards. Sokka's lines were wobbly and thick. His characters connected in odd places and were strangely spaced.

"How did you get away without writing?" Zuko asked while Sokka repeated the characters. 

"The South Pole doesn't really have anything to read. We have a few old scrolls we pass around, and the old women teach kids by drawing in the snow. But that's all the reading and writing we do." Sokka paused and dripped a big blob of ink onto his paper and frowned. 

"And no one bothered to try and help you figure it out?" Zuko tilted his head. 

"Sure, but it never clicked. Worked as hard as any other kid but they figured it out and I didn't. So they gave up and let me learn other stuff." Sokka took Zuko's paper to copy his small, neat characters. 

"Like what?" 

"Cooking, fishing, kayaking, sailing, sewing, stuff like that." Sokka stick his tongue out, trying to concentrate, "It's not a big deal, I was just good at different stuff."

Sokka filled the page with his name written in thick uneven lines. He beamed at Zuko and held up his work. He saw something in Zuko's eyes soften.

"Good job. You're doing well." Zuko didn't smile, but Sokka could feel pride radiating from him. He wanted to rest his chin on his thigh and kiss his belly. He didn't think Zuko would be very appreciative. Sokka just watched his pretty golden eyes. 

"Firelord Zuko." The pair broke eye contact to see Iroh bowing to them, "I see that you are enjoying your time with your husband to be."

The phrase made Sokka feel a little sick with nerves. 

"I would like to formally invite you to a wedding planning tomorrow. Prince Sokka, your help would be greatly appreciated as well." Iroh said.

"We'll be there, Uncle. Thank you." Zuko assured him.

"I did not know you were a fan of calligraphy." Iroh sat. 

"He was teaching me how to write my name. See!" Sokka held up his paper, "This one is Zuko's and these ones are mine."

"Very impressive." Iroh laughed from deep in his big belly. 

"It's hard, but I think I'm getting there." Sokka beamed. 

"You wrote that character backwards and that one upside down." Zuko pointed to one of the copies. Sokka frowned. 

"Writing is difficult to master. Do not be discouraged." Iroh smiled, "And we have tutors that specialize in students with dyslexia if my nephew's lessons are not sufficient."

"What's dyslexia?" Sokka tilted his head. 

"A reading problem. It makes certain letters look flipped or mixed up and it can be very hard to spell or write or tell directions."

"Oh. That's why I can't read." Sokka nodded. 

"Ask Firelord Zuko if you require help." Iroh stood and grinned as he left.


	3. Zuko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Juneteenth everyone! Take a moment to appreciate how far we've come and realize how far we have left to go. We're not done fighting yet.

Zuko didn't want to think about the wedding. He was desperate to call it off and send Sokka home. But he knew it was for the good of the people. Today would most likely be a discussion of Water Tribe wedding traditions and best to incorporate them into Fire Nation customs.

Zuko had just gotten out of the bath. He'd been stressed and forgetting to take his medication, so his body was revolting against him. He'd tried to clean himself up as best he could, but his body just hurt, a lot. The heat helped a little, but not enough. 

Sokka knocked on the door, leaving just enough time for Zuko to scramble for a towel before he stepped in the room. 

"Oh, shit. I'll just-" Sokka's eyes went wide, "Is that blood?" 

"It's nothing. Just leave." Zuko pushed him back out of the door and threw his dirty towel back to the ground. He quickly got dressed, layering up his undergarments as best he could and doing his hair to be presentable.

Sokka was still just waiting for him outside the door, mouth agape. 

"Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?" Sokka rushed to follow him. 

"Just drop it, Sokka. It's nothing." Zuko felt slimy and dirty. His stomach burned so bad it made him sick. He was just thankful Sokka didn't ask anymore questions and they could just go plan their wedding. 

The room with filled with officials along with his advisors and Iroh. Sokka's pendant felt heavy around his neck. His stomach boiled up when he sat, terrified at the thought of staining the seats.

"Prince Sokka, would you care to walk us through traditional Water Tribe marriages?" An advisor gestured to him. 

"The biggest thing is the betrothal necklace. The groom carves one for the bride and gives it to her." Sokka glanced at Zuko's neck, "At the wedding, there's a big feast and dancing and stuff, and then everyone goes home and the groom tries to kidnap the bride and carry her to his house if he hasn't built her a new one yet."

"You're not carrying me." Zuko shook his head. 

"I bet I could. You're pretty short." Sokka shrugged. 

"Is there any traditional attire or ceremony or events that take place?" The advisor leaned forward. 

"Yeah, you carry home your bride. The more elaborate the scheme the better." Sokka smiled. 

"Do you have an example?" 

"My dad got his friend Bato to fake a seal attack and get her out of the house. She used to say she saw through the plan immediately, but she went out anyway. Then dad caught a penguin and slid down the hill to grab her and bring her home." Sokka giggled. The others in the room stared at him in confused horror.

"What was the penguin for?" One of the advisors raised his hand. 

"Sledding on. You get them, get on their back, and sled on them." Sokka explained.

"Would you feel satisfied carrying Zuko to your room to consummate the marriage?" The advisor asked. Zuko let his face fall on the table. He didn't bother looking up at Sokka. 

"Uh, well, do we, like need to, uh, consummate?" Sokka's voice was higher pitched. Zuko wanted to hide. 

"For the wedding to be official, yes." The advisor said. 

"Oh. I kinda thought it would just be like a you can kiss the bride yay you're married thing." Sokka said.

"It will only be required the once, seeing as two men cannot produce an heir." The advisor moved on, but Zuko stopped paying attention. Because they were wrong. Of course they didn't know that, but they were still wrong. Zuko could produce an heir, the blood pouring out between his legs proved that. Sokka could theoretically give him a baby.

Which meant he could theoretically still grow breasts, and have doctors poking at him in uncomfortable places. But that would mean letting Sokka doing his own poking. No one else had ever really been down there before, and Zuko himself was usually too disgusted to explore much.

Zuko felt sick knowing that he couldn't keep it a secret forever. Sokka would hate him. Sokka would know how dishonorable Zuko really was. He'd know what a failure he had been. Sparks flew from his fingers and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. His stomach felt like it was being jostled around someone searching for something else hiding in his belly.

"Zuko." Sokka placed a hand on his shoulder, "You feeling okay?" 

"Yes, excuse me for a moment while I get a breath of fresh air." Zuko shrugged his hand off and stood. He glanced down to make sure he hadn't stained anything. 

He wanted to find a restroom, but his nausea was too powerful. He barely had time to make it out to the courtyard before he threw up in a bush.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt someone rub circles in his back. He may have let out a noise, he wasn't sure. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Iroh humming his song. Zuko didn't know where it came from, but Iroh would sing it to him when he was sick. It was a song about a little soldier boy coming home from war. 

"The Water Tribes has very different ideas about what makes a man. Especially in the South." Iroh said while Zuko sat on the ground, head in his hands, "I suggest you take time to discuss those differences with your husband."

"He's not my husband." Zuko muttered. 

"Then I suggest you discuss with your old friend." Iroh corrected himself, "He will understand."

"Not now." Zuko hung his head. 

"Go rest. I will conclude the meeting in your absence." Iroh bowed his head and helped Zuko back up to his feet.

~*~

He was laying in bed, in furious amounts of pain. His head spinning with thoughts he didn't want to have. He hurt too bad to sleep or concentrate on anything, so he just lay there, hugging a pillow against his chest. 

He groaned at the knock on the door. He wasn't up for visitors. 

"Hey, Zuko. It's me. Uh, your uncle said you were sick. He was gonna bring you this tea, but I offered to check on you. Can I come in?" Sokka asked through the door.

"Come in." Zuko hid himself under his blankets, despite already being too hot. Sokka stepped inside with a tea tray. He handed Zuko his cup and pulled a chair up next to his bed. 

"How are you feeling?" Sokka asked. 

"Peachy." Zuko sat up, trying desperately to stay hidden under the blankets. He sipped his tea gently. 

Sokka snorted, "So I guess we'll need to have sex in a few months."

"Don't remind me." Zuko whispered.

"First time with a guy, so I guess that'll be interesting." Sokka laughed. Zuko felt his stomach twist up again, "I've like, made out with guys before. Besides you. But that's-" 

Zuko choked on his tea, burning his throat, "You what?" 

"Oh yeah, doing gay stuff is an issue here. Forgot." Sokka sighed.

"But Yue, and Suki, and-"

"Well I wasn't dating them at the time. I'm not a monster." Sokka rolled his eyes.

"Why did you kiss them?" Zuko asked quietly. 

"I don't know. First guy was really hot, second guy was huge and also hot. And that's pretty much it." Sokka shrugged.

Zuko bit his lip. Should he tell Sokka? Let one of his biggest secrets hang in the open? If Sokka liked boys too, he couldn't think Zuko was that bad, right? 

"What are you thinking about?" Sokka asked him.

"Nothing. Just stressed." Zuko sighed. 

"What's up?" Sokka leaned forward on his elbows. 

"I'm getting married against my will." Zuko raised an eyebrow. 

The corner of Sokka's mouth twitched, "Yeah. But we can be friends married. That's a thing, right? Friends married?" 

"I don't think so." Zuko finished his tea and set the cup on his nightstand by the soft ribbon of his betrothal necklace. He bit the inside of his cheek.

"I guess just friends don't need to fuck by law." Sokka groaned. 

"Just friends don't need to get married to save their homeland." Zuko's jaw was tight. He felt his stomach gurgling and burning his insides.

"Do you wanna play a game? Loser answers a question?" Sokka asked him. 

"What would you like to play?" Zuko rolled his eyes.

"Guess what I'm thinking about." Sokka smiled.

~*~

Sokka was thinking about penguins. Zuko had seen a penguin maybe once or twice, so he lost the game. Sokka's games must be rigged.

"How are you dealing with Dad stuff?" Sokka asked.

"It's hard. I don't like how much I remind myself of him. Especially in my stupid clothes in this stupid castle. That stupid meeting room is awful to be inside." Zuko curled up in a ball on the bed. 

"You're in charge, right? Why don't you change it up? Wear regular clothes, let your hair down, meet somewhere else." Sokka suggested. 

"I can't. I need to give people a sense of normalicy in all this. I'm upturning everything they thought they knew, they need a constant." Zuko explained. 

"But what about inside? Put on a show for your country, and then be comfortable in your own home." Sokka reached out and brushed his cold fingers against Zuko's knuckles. Zuko tensed up, which did nothing to help his cramping stomach. He moved his hand away. Sokka didn't try again. 

"I just can't. "Zuko sighed. Sokka pursed his lips.

"Let's go on vacation. Just you and me." Sokka grinned. 

"People will talk." Zuko wanted to roll over and ignore him. 

"Who cares? We're already engaged, we can go on a pre-wedding vacation." Sokka's hand twitched. Zuko barely noticed, but Sokka was dying to reach out and touch him. 

"I suppose we could go to Ember Island. We have a beach house there." Zuko bit his thumb. 

"Perfect. We can go this weekend." Sokka clapped his hands together. 

"Next weekend." Zuko insisted. 

"Okay. Next weekend. Your turn for a question." Sokka pulled his legs up to sit cross legged on his chair. 

"Do you want to hold my hand?" Zuko asked him. 

"Yes. Is that okay?" Sokka leaned forward. 

"I don't think so right now. I'm sorry." Zuko shook his head. 

"Thats okay. I'll hold your hand later." Sokka grinned.


	4. Sokka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so surprised this got the traction it did. I had no idea it would get this sort of attention. I just wanna thank everyone for tuning in! I appreciate it so much

Sokka was proud of the work he'd done with Zuko. Proud of everything they'd done together. Proud of him being honest with him. He had suspicions about other secrets Zuko refuses to discuss, but those could be shelved for another time.

Sokka was desperate to hold him and keep him save. But whenever he tried, Zuko pulled away and apologized. Sokka couldn't be too mad about it though, Zuko had been through a lot. It was okay if he was uncomfortable for now. It was okay if he didn't want to snuggle or hold hands, even it was just friendly, like with Aang. 

He wandered around outside, just to have something to do. Something to clear his head. As he walked through the courtyard, he saw Zuko sitting by the turtleduck pond. The Firelord had his hair down, and he was smiling. The little turtleducklings swarmed around him. 

"What's up?" Sokka asked. Zuko jumped and the birds scattered, "Sorry."

"It's fine." He grumbled and dumped a handful of rice back in a bowl he had with him. 

"You were so cute though." Sokka said without thinking. 

Zuko's shoulders tensed up. He turned away to hide his blush, "I wasn't doing anything."

"You were smiling and petting the turtleducklings. It was adorable." Sokka giggled. 

"I'm not cute." Zuko crossed his arms. His good ear was still pink. Sokka thought it was absolutely precious, but he didn't push the subject. 

"How do you get them to come so close?" Sokka watched the little birds floating over the water. 

"I bribe them." Zuko took a small handful of rice and held it out. His other hand held a finger to his lips to make sure Sokka was quiet. 

It took a little while, but eventually the turtleducks waddled over to his hand and nibbled at the rice in his palm. He gestured for Sokka to come closer, close enough for Sokka to press his chest up against his back. Zuko didn't seem to mind the contact this time. He took Sokka's hand and guided him to cradle Zuko's own. He carefully poured the rice into Sokka's hand and moved to scoot back. But Sokka was using his other arm by Zuko's hip to hold himself up, accidentally trapping him. 

Sokka could feel Zuko's cheeks burning red hot, and he tried his best to wiggle back a little without disturbing the turtleducks eating out of his hand. He made the mistake of glancing down at Zuko to see his wide, golden eyes staring right back. Sokka wanted nothing more in the world than to pin Zuko down in the grass and kiss him senseless. Instead, he ended up gazing so deeply into Zuko's face, he forgot where he was.

Until a little turtleduckling took too big a bite and nipped Sokka's hand. He flinched and made the little birds scatter again. He sighed and let Zuko scramble away from him. One of the turtleducks got itself turned around and wound up in Zuko's lap. Zuko let out the most angelic little giggle Sokka had ever heard. 

"Don't worry, Momma's this way." He held the baby ever so delicately and gently lowered it into the water. 

Sokka realized he was staring when Zuko turned to look at him, only to blush again, "You don't laugh enough."

"Make funnier jokes then." Zuko shrugged and leaned back on his hands. 

"Excuse you. I'm hilarious." Sokka scoffed. 

"Hi hilarious, I'm Zuko." He held out a hand to shake, not even cracking a smile. 

"You're awful." Sokka rolled his eyes, "You excited for Ember Island?" 

"I suppose. My last trip wasn't exactly peaceful." Zuko watched the birds swim in their pond. 

"What happened?" Sokka hoped Zuko didn't notice him inching a little closer.

"I was with Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee. Mai and I got in a huge fight at this stupid party, and then there was this stupid heart to heart that ended with everyone screaming." Zuko sighed. 

"Can I hold your hand? But in a friends kinda way?" Sokka asked. Zuko didn't respond. Sokka reached out and let his hand rest atop Zuko's. He didn't pull away, "I'm sorry about your sister. Is she doing okay?" 

"Don't be, she was a bitch." Zuko sighed, "I doubt she'll ever leave that hospital."

"She was a bitch, but she was still your sister." Sokka reminded him. 

"A sister that was everything I was supposed to be." Zuko muttered so quietly Sokka almost missed it. 

"Can I ask you something?" Sokka moved a little closer. Zuko shrugged, "Do you want to get married?" 

"I have to." Zuko didn't miss a beat. 

"But do you want to? It's different." Sokka squeezed his hand softly.

"I don't know what I want." Zuko hung his head, "Do you?"

"Yeah, but that's not important. I think we should just try to be friends through it all. And if we fall in love later, we're already married. And if we don't, then it's just for show anyway." Sokka resisted the urge to kiss Zuko's dainty knuckles.

"You have an odd view of the world." Zuko sighed.

"Just different. Water Tribesmen just kinda go with whatever is presented. Make it work, things will go back how they're supposed to be." Sokka shrugged. The Water Tribe was easy, but this wasn't the Water Tribe. This was political, and powerful, and every move required perfect precision.

"I don't know what my nation is supposed to be. It was all lost after Sozin." Zuko curled up in a little ball.

"Maybe we can find out. Is there a library or something we can look through? Learn about the Fire Nation 100 years ago?" Sokka wasn't sure how much help he would be, but last time he went to the library, he found some critical information. So maybe he could replicate those results. He wanted to try. He wanted to give Zuko a home again, a culture beyond colonization and imperialism and propaganda. 

"I suppose we can look through the Catacombs. I'm not sure what we would look for. My father destroyed a lot of the records." Zuko bit his lips.

"Why?" Sokka tilted his head.

"So history would remember him as the first Firelord." Zuko threw some rice out over the water. The turtleducks scrambled to gobble it up. 

"Well let's go see what's still there." Sokka stood and held out his hand.

~*~

Sokka hated the Catacombs. It was dark, cramped, and full of bones. Reminded him too much of bad memories at war. Zuko held out a small fire to light their way. He led them into a huge library, full of scrolls. Sokka stared at the dimly lit walls of cubbies.

Zuko dug through the scrolls, reading labels and placing some back in their slots. The few he collected were handed to Sokka. The words turned into gibberish when he tried to focus on them, but maybe Zuko could read them out loud. 

"Thank you." Zuko stepped off the ladder and nodded to Sokka politely. 

"What did you find?" Sokka asked. They sat together on the ground and Zuko took the scrolls.

"Something about the Festival of the Sun, a transcript of a childhood diary from a woman who married into royalty, and an old religious document about chakras and firebending." Zuko looked through the first scroll.

He read to Sokka about how the sun spirit was sacred to the Fire Nation. The summer solstice was a time to celebrate. Bask in the sun's warmth and love. Bonfires were traditional, as well as lemon cakes and dancing. It was a day of happiness, and love, and absorbing everything the world had to give you.

"It sounds nice." Sokka had propped himself up on his elbow to listen. Zuko had a cute voice, soft and almost muffled. He tripped over the words a few times, but he got through it. 

"It sounds like an upscale Feast of Sozin." Zuko scoffed.

"What's that?" Sokka asked. 

"A royal feast to remember the great triumphs of Firelord Sozin." Zuko sneered.

"Maybe you can bring back the original holiday. Just let people love the sun." Sokka suggested. 

"I'll think on it." Zuko bit his thumb and handed the scroll back.

The next scroll detailed a more spiritual approach to firebending. It described how to move your chi more efficiently and gain more power, mostly through meditation. The root was the most important, as it was the center of bending. Overcoming the fear of burning was extremely important to controlling the fire. They both knew that of course, they had seen Zuko's bending give out, and had seen how difficult it was after Aang burned Katara.

"The sacral chakra is one of pleasure and raw emotion. It is the center of passion and feeling." Zuko read, "While this is not the most effective, especially in large blockages, there is a very quick and simple method for firebenders to unblock their chi. Although it will not replace proper care and meditation, engaging in-" 

Zuko trailed off, his eyes scanning forward in the document. His cheeks were pink. Sokka moved a little closer and peaked over his shoulder. Zuko rolled the scroll back up quickly and crossed his arms.

"What are you supposed to do?" Sokka asked. What was Zuko hiding from him? What didn't he want him to know.

"It's not important." Zuko stood to return the scrolls, even those he still hadn't read. 

"Then why are you hiding it?" Sokka spoke quietly. He stayed on the ground, trying to seem smaller and less threatening. He wanted Zuko to feel safe.

"Because I'd rather just forget about it." Zuko muttered quietly.

"Zuko, please? What if it could be helpful to Aang?" He probably didn't need much more help, but he had a natural curiosity. It would kill him not to know. 

"How old he now? And your sister?" Zuko paused for a moment. 

"Aang is 15, Katara is 16." Sokka crossed his arms. This didn't have anything to do with the scroll. 

"Then he'll figure out on his own soon enough." Zuko turned and walked out of the little archive. 

Sokka grabbed his hand and gave him his best puppy dog face, "Please tell me? It would make my whole day." 

"If you wanna know so badly, then it's sex. Having good sex makes you a better firebender." Zuko yanked his hand away and stormed off. 

"Why are you so upset about that? It said it's not even a good strategy." Sokka jogged to catch up.

"I don't want to talk about it. Why is that so hard for you?" Zuko yelled back at him. The lamp light caught his golden eyes strangely, as if they themselves were burning and glowing. But Sokka could've sworn he saw tears welling up.

~*~

Sokka waited a while for Zuko to cool down. Why was sex such a touchy subject? Yeah it might be taboo back home, but that just meant it was danced around with quiet giggles subtle winks. It wasn't addressed with screaming and tears. He knocked quietly, trying hard to stay quiet. 

Zuko swung the door open. His head was turned away and he stared at the floor, "What do you want?" 

"I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to. Can I do anything to make it up to you?" Sokka asked with a small smile. Zuko sighed and turned back to sit on the bed, he tucked his knees up to his chest. Sokka followed tentatively. 

"It's not your fault. It's just a touchy subject." Zuko said quietly. 

"Is that another Dad thing or-" 

"No. But close. I would rather just drop it for now." Zuko sighed.

"Okay. Would you like a hug?" Sokka asked. Zuko held his arms out, still tucked away in his little ball. Sokka sat next to him and wrapped him up in the biggest bear hug he could manage. He smelled sweet, and smokey, like a campfire. Sokka held him a little tighter.


	5. Zuko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: single use of the word r*pe

Zuko wasn't totally sure how he felt about taking a vacation, alone, with Sokka, and no one else. He wasn't sure how well he could hide himself with Sokka so close with no distractions. He felt a little sick at the thought of something happening. But here he was. Here he stood with Sokka. Staring at the old summer home. He remembered how confidently Katara insisted she found his old baby pictures. He remembered how his heart sank at the thought of telling his new friends. He remembered the rush of relief when it wasn't his pictures in the end. He could only hope the real pictures went up in flames all that time ago. 

The pair were escorted into the beach house, and left to their own devices. Sokka had specifically requested the servents stay at the palace. That left them, and the maid that cleaned each afternoon. Sokka's room shared a wall with his own, still too close for Zuko to be comfortable.

"What do you want do? I saw a poster for Love Amongst the Dragons, we can go play on the beach, we can go shopping, I'm not sure what else there is to do." Sokka shrugged.

"I am not going back to that awful theater on good conscience. Especially not to see Love Amongst the Dragons again." Zuko groaned internally. He remembered complaining to his mother every year, and every year she told him to enjoy some family bonding time, "What sounds fun to you?" 

"Shopping and then beach party?" Sokka smiled.

Zuko took him to the small market square to look around and shop. Most of it was horribly overpriced and tacky, but Sokka looked around the stalls eagerly. Zuko could feel eyes on him, but he couldn't tell if it was because their Firelord was wandering around in commoner clothes and hair taken down, or if they were staring at his scar. Sometimes it was hard to tell.

"Look at how cute this is." Sokka pointed to a red ribbon decorated with gold and tiny red jewels. He picked it up gingerly and held it near his throat with a grin, "What do you think?"

"It's a women's necklace." Zuko told him. 

"So? Do I look nice?" He asked. 

"It looks lovely." Zuko said. The shopkeep raised an eyebrow at the pair of them.

"Excuse me." Sokka said politely, "How much for this?" 

"Three gold pieces." She was old. Most likely she hated Zuko's decisions as ruler, he tried to keep his scar turned away, just in case. 

"Oh, that's kind of a lot." Sokka's ears turned pink. Zuko rolled his eyes and set the money on the table. 

"Name for the order?" The shopkeep asked. 

"Lee." Zuko took the necklace from Sokka and helped clasp it around his neck. Once away from the little stand, Sokka nearly knocked him over with a surprise hug. Zuko's whole body tensed up. 

"You're the best friend ever." Sokka squeezed him tighter before backing away just as suddenly. His eyes were wide, his cheeks red, "Sorry. I got excited. Thank you for paying."

"Don't worry about it. You're essentially royalty now, you can afford a pretty necklace." Zuko shrugged. A lot of his money was going into the post war effort, but three gold pieces for a necklace wasn't an issue.

"Oh yeah. I guess I didn't realize that." Sokka muttered quietly, "I'm so used to us-" 

"Sleeping on the ground and hunting for all our food?" 

"Yeah." Sokka scratched the back of his head, "It's weird to be rich and stuff."

"You're a prince back home aren't you?" Zuko tilted his head.

"I guess you didn't really spend much time in the village." Sokka shrugged. He looked so pretty in his new necklace. The pair started to explore the square absenmindedly. 

"Yeah." Zuko's stomach twisted tighter. He wished he could forget kicking Sokka in the head and terrorizing his family.

"After the war ended there's maybe 25 of us. The chief is just like the guy you complain to because your neighbor didn't give you as much fish as you wanted." Sokka sighed. He glanced over other items for sale, but he seemed caught up in thought.

"Who takes care of things? Who enforces policies?" Zuko blinked at him. 

"What policies? We share what we can, trade favors if we need to, and that's kinda it. We're all just hanging out." Sokka explained. 

"I suppose I don't know much about the South Pole. Most our attention has been focused in the North, because there was that whole thing with the moon." Zuko grit his teeth. There was so much wrong he needed to right. "We did raid your village and kill all your waterbenders, and I intend to remedy that as best I can. But we did also murder the actual moon for a while, and I really have to pick my battles."

"I get it, don't worry. I was kinda sleeping with her when that moon drama happened." Sokka sighed deeply. His shoulders slouched a little more. 

"Wait, was that real? Your girlfriend actually turned into the moon? I thought that was a joke." Zuko stared at him. He was so confused at the time. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to that. 

"Yeah, Admiral Zhao killed the moon spirit, and the princess was blessed by the moon, so she gave her life to save it. She died and became the moon spirit." Sokka explained. His eyes stayed glued to the ground.

"I'm sorry." Zuko brushed his fingers against Sokka's. He wasn't sure what else to do. How could he be so stupid? His father not only destroyed the moon, but killed the princess in the process. And Zuko had the audacity to assume the seige of the North wasn't as bad as they said. Of course they would never forgive him for that. 

"Not your fault." Sokka linked their pinkies together. This was small enough for Zuko, something timid and easily broken, he could manage this much, "Blame Zhao for being an asshole."

"Asshole is a gentle term." Zuko was sure his heart was beating hard enough to crack his ribs. He was probably dying. Just the reminder of that man's name was enough to kill him on the spot. 

"Have anything more fitting?" Sokka looked up at him with a small smile. Is this what bonding feels like? Like a heart attack? 

"A few." Half a dozen words flashed through his mind. Power hungry. Narcissist. Inhuman. Murderer. Rapist. 

~*~

It was late by the time they got back to the house. The sun was setting and swimming was sounding less and less fun. Sokka ran inside to put his new things away while Zuko started a fire outside. 

"Look what I found." Sokka grinned when he came back outside. He held out a picture of Zuko's mother and father holding a baby, "Azula was such a cute baby."

"You're just like your sister." Zuko sighed to himself, "That's not Azula."

"What do you mean? She's got little pigtails, and a cute dress. And she looks just like your mom." Sokka smiled.

"I mean that's not Azula." Zuko turned his attention back to the fire. Azula took after their father. Even from the very beginning. 

"Well who else would it be?" Sokka tilted his head. 

Zuko tucked his knees up to his chest. His chest ached, "Please, just go put it back."

"Okay." Sokka turned back to go inside. When he re-emerged, his hair was taken down. Zuko nearly choked.

"Welcome back. You took out your ponytail." Zuko's voice cracked. He fake coughed to cover it up, and hopefully hide the heat in his cheeks. 

"It's a warrior's wolf tail." Sokka corrected. Zuko fought back the urge to touch it, "I am off the clock as a warrior, so no need."

"It looks so soft." Zuko was sure he didn't say that out loud. But Sokka turned bright red and turned away, so the thought must've left his head somehow, "Sorry."

"Your hair looks soft too." Sokka gestured towards him. 

"So you, dated the moon?" Zuko squeaked. 

"Yep. There she is. Being a moon." Sokka pointed up at the sky, where a big full moon rose and lit up the stars. 

"Pretty." Zuko wondered what it was like to be a moon spirit. What did she spend her time doing? 

"Hi, Princess Yue!" Sokka waved, "I'm hanging out with Zuko. He's cute, and not a dick anymore."

"You keep calling me cute." Zuko glanced over at him. 

"I know. You're a cute guy." Sokka ran a hand through his hair. 

"The necklace was a good choice. It looks nice." Zuko watched the light from the fire catch in Sokka's eyes. 

"I bet I could get a nice dress to go with it." Sokka smiled. 

"You want to wear a dress?" Zuko asked. Sokka's hair was so distracting.

"Yeah. Once upon a time I would never stoop that low, but lately it seems fun. Maybe not all the time, but on occasion." Sokka changed position, leaning a little closer to Zuko.

"We can see what's around the palace when we get back." Zuko let himself unfurl a little bit. He was getting tired, but he was enjoying Sokka's company. 

"What do you think, red, or red?" He chuckled to himself.

"No I think red would look nicer with your undertones." Zuko was dying to just dig his hands into Sokka's hair. 

"You're staring at me, Zuko." Sokka leaned in closer. 

"No I'm not." Zuko licked his lips. 

"Do you need something?" Sokka spoke softly. 

"I want to pull your hair so bad." Zuko whispered. He wasn't sure what came over him. His fear was just replaced with a warm cozy feeling in his belly. 

"Ask nicely." Sokka smirked. 

Zuko felt as insatiable urge to obey. "May I please touch your hair?"

He was already reaching out. Sokka was leaning in until most of Zuko's vision was occupied by his beautifully blue eyes. Zuko dug his fingers into Sokka's hair and pulled him in close for a kiss.


	6. Sokka

Sokka was confused. Zuko had done it again. He'd kissed him, and then ignored him. Sokka wasn't sure what he did wrong, but it must've been something. Was he a bad kisser? Should he have used tongue? Was he too pushy? Should he have tried to go further? Zuko couldn't be upset for no reason. 

He knocked on Iroh's door, completely defeated. If anyone could help, it was the Firelord's surrogate father. Iroh smiled and welcomed him in his room. It was filled with exotic instruments and paintings, little trinkets from the four nations lined the shelves. It was a peaceful sort of clutter. 

"Good evening, Prince Sokka." Iroh bowed, "Would you like a cup of tea?" 

"Sure. I guess." Sokka sighed. 

"Something is bothering you." He poured Sokka a cup of tea and allowed him to fill the silence. 

"It's Zuko. He's just so." Sokka groaned, "You know?" 

"My nephew is a very intelligent man, however he is not the most wise. May I ask what he has done?" Iroh questioned. 

"Well we went to Ember Island together, and we were really getting somewhere and making a lot of progress. But then I found some old pictures and he got super weird about it, and I thought we had moved passed it because he kissed me-" Sokka realized his mistake the moment he said it, "No, no, we didn't really-I mean it's not like-"

"I am well aware of my nephews preferences. There is no need to keep secrets from me." Iroh smiled.

"I forget that Sozin made it a big deal. Back home it was never an issue." Sokka curled into a ball. Life was so different here. He wished he could go home. 

"I understand completely. Please continue." Iroh gestured and sipped his tea.

"Well, he kissed me, and then he's just been ignoring me. For the second time now. And he won't talk to me long enough for me to ask why." Sokka's heart ached. His cold fingers burned on the hot cup.

"I suspect the reason is with himself. Firelord Zuko is especially vulnerable to the idea that he is less than. His past his more painful than you know." Iroh sighed.

Sokka didn't ask the questions he wanted to, the ones he felt entitled to. The past is the past, and he'd watched Zuko's progress, "What do I do? Do I just corner him and ask him to explain?"

"He is afraid, and he is hurt. Tread lightly, but firmly." Iroh explained.

Sokka thought back to the time he found a wolf after it was attacked by a polar bear. He pushed too far too fast and got a good bite on his hand. So he backed up, he shrank down, and let the wolf feel safe before he stepped forward to help. He could pretend Zuko was that wolf. Hurt and alone scared of the world. 

~*~

Zuko almost slammed the door in his face. Sokka caught the door before it could close and held his hands up in surrender, "I just want to talk."

"Why?" Zuko stared off to the side. 

"Because I'm confused. May I please come in?" Sokka looked down at the ground. Zuko let him inside and but at his thumb. 

"What do you want?" He was quiet. He sounded so small. 

"I want to know why you're ignoring me." Sokka wanted to just push him into the bed and kiss him and hold him.

"Because I made a stupid mistake and you're mad at me. So I'm staying away." Zuko crossed his arms. 

Sokka dropped his guard, "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I kissed you and I shouldn't have. It was a stupid mistake and we should just forget it." Zuko hid his face from Sokka. 

"Zuko, I really like kissing you. That was a really fun night." Sokka placed a soft and on his shoulder. 

"But you were so distant afterward." Zuko peeked up at him.

Sokka rolled his eyes, "I said we should go to bed because it was late and I was wanting to go farther than I knew you'd be comfortable with. And you don't seem to like being touched, so I didn't touch you."

"How far did you want to go?" Zuko looked up at him. 

"It doesn't matter. Maybe we can get there someday." Sokka slid his hands down to hold Zuko's arms, "Right now I'm here to be whatever you need me to be. What do you want from me, Zuko?" 

"I don't know." Zuko shrank back down into his chest. 

"Do you really not know or are you just scared to tell me? It's okay to be scared." Sokka spoke softly to him. He rubbed his arms gently. 

"I'm scared." Zuko let out a sob and hurled himself into Sokka's arms. 

Sokka hugged him tightly. He combed through his hair, now almost reaching his shoulders, and kissed the top of his head. Zuko needed taken care of right now, "I know it's scary. You're safe here. We can do this together."

Zuko cried into his chest. He grabbed handfuls of the back of Sokka's shirt. He was so much smaller than Sokka realized, and so much warmer. His hair smelled sweet and rich, almost chocolaty. 

"Come sit down. Let's figure this out." Sokka insisted. Zuko squeezed tighter, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay right here."

Sokka gently nudged him to the bed and sat down beside him. Zuko buried his face in Sokka's shoulder. Sokka bundled him up in a soft blanket that was sitting on his bed.

"Katara told me you lost your Mom. We have that in common at least." Sokka told him. Zuko sniffled, "When I was little I used to get really bad stomach aches. I grew out of it eventually, but I remember Mom would make me Labrador tea to help. We would go out in the summer when it wasn't so cold and pick leaves for drying."

"Isn't it always cold?" Zuko asked. Sokka

"Yeah but sometimes it's a little less cold." Sokka shrugged. 

"My mom used to give me gari when I was sick." Zuko let out a small laugh, "She would feed it to me with chopsticks because she didn't want me to make the whole jar sick."

"Gari is so strong though." Sokka enjoyed pickled ginger as much as the next guy, but if he ate it while he was already sick, he might actually throw up.

"Ginger is good for stomach pain, and it was my favorite snack as a kid. I used to drink the juice we pickled it in." Zuko pulled the blanket tighter around himself. 

"I won't hold it against you, but I think that is the grossest thing you could ever say to me. You know it's just sugar and vinegar, right?" Sokka gasped. 

Zuko laughed, it was the sweetest sound Sokka had ever heard, "It has some ginger flavor too."

"It's still just sugar and vinegar." Sokka whispered.

"Yeah. And some ginger." Zuko rested his forehead on Sokka's shoulder. 

"I don't think you're getting it. The ginger doesn't make it better." Sokka sighed. And pulled him a little closer. 

"Hey, Sokka?" Zuko muttered. 

"What's up?" Sokka looked down at him. 

"I really want gari juice now." He whispered.

"You're the most disgusting person I've ever met." Sokka brought Zuko down to lay in bed next to him. He let Zuko decide how close he wanted to be, "Tell me more about your mom."

"She loved brushing my hair. It was pretty long before, uh, everything. She always talked about how she wanted to braid it up and give me these really elaborate hairstyles. She thought the Water Tribe girls were pretty." Zuko stayed just close enough that Sokka could hold his waist. Zuko still had tears falling down the side of his face, but he was smiling. 

"Why didn't she ever?" Sokka asked. 

"Because I wasn't a girl. I was very adamant about that." Zuko closed his eyes. 

"Boys can like girl stuff too." Sokka moved to hold his hand. 

"I can't." Zuko lost his smile. 

"Why not?" Sokka felt his heart crack.

"It's complicated." 

"Tell me someday?" Sokka squeazed his hand gently.

"Someday." Zuko sighed. 

"Would your mom like me?" Sokka tried to dodge pushing him back down into the tears and pain and hurt. 

"I think so. I'd love to introduce you if I can ever find her again." Zuko sighed.

"You think she's alive?" Zuko asked. 

"I need her to be." He wiggled a little closer. His scar was almost entirely hidden against the blankets. He looked so sweet and innocent laying there, like a little kid. 

"I know the feeling." Sokka remembered his mother's funeral. He remembered watching her casket drift out into the water and feeling like the world was ending. His father hadn't cried much in Sokka's life, but he cried then.

"What was your mother like?" Zuko asked. 

"How honest do I have to be?" Sokka smiled sadly. 

"As honest as you would like me to be." Zuko responded. 

Sokka took a deep breath, "I really don't remember a lot. I was 10 when it all happened, and I was a lot closer with my dad."

"I'm sorry." Zuko was quiet.

"I remember pieces of stuff. I remember she would tell us ghost stories after dinner and once when I was like six I think, she scared me bad enough I cried. Dad teased me about it, but he let me sleep with them that night." If it was dark enough, and Sokka was alone long enough, he still got jumpy. 

"I like ghost stories." Zuko's smile eased back onto his face, "Which one made you cry?"

"Mahaha. He sneaks into your home and tickles you to death with his ice cold fingers." Sokka's blood froze in his veins. He was a grown man, he should be over him. But Mahaha would haunt him till the end of his days. 

"Well you can rest assured, the coldest hands in the Fire Nation are yours." Zuko said. 

"My hands aren't that cold." Sokka smiled. 

"They're frigid." Zuko took his other hand and gently warmed him up.

Sokka hummed. The heat felt nice on his skin. Zuko radiated warmth and Sokka was desperate to pull him in close and use him like a space heater. But for now he was content to let Zuko blow hot air across his knuckles to keep them from getting cold again.


	7. Zuko

Zuko was expecting a big change in Sokka. But their routine stayed mostly the same. They still ate dinner together, still wandered into separate rooms, sometimes they fed the turtleducks. But now things felt diffused. He felt relaxed and calm with Sokka. 

Today their routine was different. Today Aang was arriving with Katara. There were discussions to be had. Zuko dressed in his typical robes to greet the Avatar. Zuko had a barn set up for Appa, to give him a place to stay. Sokka was bouncing with enthusiasm at the prospect of seeing his sister. They stared out at the landing pad cleared for the sky bison. Sokka rocked back and forth, Zuko stood and picked his nails under his bulky sleeves. 

"How much longer do you think they'll be?" Sokka asked. 

"Any minute. Just relax." Zuko was telling himself more than he was Sokka. He wasn't sure where his anxiety was coming from, but his heart raced and made him nauseous. He scanned the sky, "There they are."

Sokka shot up and looked where Zuko was pointing. He grinned widely and watched Appa touch down. Katara and Aang slid off his saddle and pulled bags down. Sokka sprinted over and wrapped his sister up in a bear hug. The servents gathered to help with their things and lead Appa to his barn.

"Flameo, Hotman!" Aang bowed. 

"You don't need to do that." Zuko sighed. 

"It's only polite." Aang shrugged. 

"Aang!" Sokka hurled himself at the boy, "You get a hug too."

"It's almost lunchtime, why don't we head inside and get some food." Zuko suggested. 

"Does Appa get lunch?" Aang asked.

"Of course. We have food for him." Zuko took everyone inside, Sokka rambled about nothing in particular. The palace servents rushed to serve them.

"So, what's going on? Where have you been?" Sokka asked.

"We stopped by Kyoshi Island to help them rebuild their village. Suki told us to make sure there's no hard feelings with you two. Toph is home to refine her metal bending. The walls of Ba Sing Sae are still under repair, but the King is still traveling with Bosco. The North Pole is sending aid to the South, they miss you a lot, Sokka." Katara explained. 

"The North or South misses me?" Sokka asked. 

"Well, both, frankly. Dad wants you to visit more." Katara told him. 

Sokka hung his head, "I miss him so much. I didn't really get to spend a lot of time with him after the war ended."

Zuko felt horrible and sad. He had pulled Sokka away from his home, from his family, from everything he loved. He must be so homesick. He'd have to discuss a trip back home for Sokka to see his father. 

"What's life like in the Firelord's palace?" Katara asked. 

"It's so weird. The palace is so big. And just full of stuff. There's a room of just scrolls and this giant pai sho table. And we have these huge beds with these curtains, it's crazy." Sokka gestured wildly, "I haven't cooked one thing since we've been here. Food just appears."

"Don't the servents cook it for you?" Katara raised an eyebrow. 

"I know that's true in my head, but I have not looked at a cooking fire, or food that wasn't already prepared in months. I don't even know where the kitchen is." Sokka stage whispered dramatically.

"It's on the other side of that wall. And there's a doorway in that back corner so they can travel through." Zuko pointed behind him. It still felt odd sitting at the head of the table. He was usually put in Aang's chair, and Azula sat next to him in Katara's place. Father wanted his wife and his favorite daughter close, and push Zuko out of the picture. 

~*~

"Aang, we would appreciate an appearance from you during your trip. There's still so much propoganda we're trying to correct about the Avatar." Zuko frowned at the table. Right now, he was one of the most hated people in the Fire Nation. But Zuko was sure this was for the greater good. 

"What sort of appearance?" Aang tugged on Momo's ears. The lemur had leapt onto his head a few minutes ago. 

"Something public and informal. I don't know what will happen if people start thinking we're conspiring, but it'll be bad." Zuko groaned.

"Why don't we just let him loose? That usually worked out okay for us, besides that time Kyoshi killed that guy, but that's an outlier." Sokka crossed his arms.

"Because this is a delicate situation. People are resisting me and if I fuck this up, my head's on a platter." Zuko glared at him.

"Aang how do you feel about going on a tour of the Fire Nation?" Sokka smirked.

"That's an awful idea. Are you trying to get me killed? We need to introduce him slowly, but sporadically so they know I wasn't involved." Zuko felt his pulse hot in his veins. 

"Better yet, just don't get involved. Let Aang decide what's best, and no one can be mad at you because it's not your thing." Sokka explained.

"Why do people want to kill you in the first place? You're trying to help the nation heal." Aang took Momo off his head and held him like a baby. Momo squirmed. 

"For 100 years they've been spoon fed the idea that the Fire Nation is above all, that we could never possibly do wrong." Zuko sighed. 

"When I went to school they told us that the Air Nomads had a military and attacked the Fire Nation." Aang let go his his lemur. Momo lept up on the table and played with the tablecloth.

"Exactly. I'm trying to completely flip the whole story, and a lot of people are angry about that." Zuko groaned. He already had letters left at the palace gates with death threats. 

"Bring ambassadors in, besides just Aang. Bring Haru, and my dad, and Teo. Let them talk to the people." Sokka watched Zuko carefully.

"I've tried. They accused me of conspiracy and treason." Zuko shook his head.

"Get the kids on your side. Adults won't want to change, but kids are easy." Aang shrugged, "Katara and I can go look around tonight and hopefully bump into some people."

"Whatever you do, do not mention me at all." Zuko picked his nails under the table.

"No one will know we talked." Aang nodded, "What are we doing about the air temples?" 

"We have some plans you can go over with the architect." Zuko's eyes followed the wood grain in the table. Aang lept to hug him before strolling out of the room. Zuko groaned and dropped his head on the table. He hated being in charge. He hated this palace. He hated this room. He hated that his people wouldn't trust him. 

"You're doing good. It'll just take time." Sokka put a hand on his arm. 

"I'm exhausted." Zuko closed his eyes. His shoulders felt heavy. 

"Why don't we go to bed early tonight? Aang and Katara can explore the city." Sokka stood.

"Sleep won't keep me from getting assassinated." Zuko grumbled. 

"Yeah, but you have a full team of guards, a massive palace, and a water tribe warrior to keep you safe. And I've seen you fight, you won't go down easily." Sokka gave him a small smile. 

"Thanks, Sokka." Zuko rolled his had on the table so he could look up at him. 

"So come to bed early. Come back to this with a clear head." Sokka urged.

"But there's so much to do." Zuko felt his eyes drifting closed. 

"It can wait until tomorrow." Sokka said. It had been a long time since Zuko closed his eyes. Maybe he could just here for a moment, "Zuko are you falling asleep?" 

"No." He yawned. 

"Okay, no more Firelord for the day." Sokka stood up and walked behind Zuko's big throne, "Go get changed into something more comfortable. Maybe I'll ask Katara to help you relax." 

"How does she do that?" Zuko asked. He tucked his arms up under his face. 

"Her bending does stuff. She explained it to me once. Something about chi and water is soothing." Sokka shrugged, "But first you have to go get changed."

Zuko stumbled out, a little bleary eyes from his almost nap. He took off his robes and put on a dressing gown. Normally, he would never dress so sloppily for guests, but he really couldn't care less right now. Sokka knocked on the door before he brought Katara in. 

"So, he's really stressed and tired and overworked. Can you just help him feel better so he can sleep for once in his life?" Sokka asked. 

Zuko scowled, "I'm right here."

"Anything you'd like to add then, your hotness?" Sokka bowed deeply. 

"No." He pouted, "Do you need water?" 

"Don't worry, I've got it." She smiled, "Lay on your stomach for me. You'll get wet, so get as top less as you can."

Zuko shed his dressing gown, leaving him in just a pair of pants, and dropped down on the bed. He heard Sokka suck in a sharp breath. Azula's scar was centered just below his ribcage, he'd forgotten Sokka hadn't seen it before. Katara sat next to him and coated her hands with water. She carefully caressed his back in soft pushing motions. 

"So, Sokka, the chi starts here at the base of his spine and flows upward." Katara explained quietly, "You're really knotted up, Zuko. This doesn't feel healthy."

Zuko winced when her cool hands reached his scar. It ached, like stretching after sitting in a cramped position too long. As she drew closer to the center, the pain grew. It grew into a burning pain deep in his soul.

"There's so much pain here. Aang knows more this than I do, but there's a huge blockage." Katara told him, "Everything above it is just so empty."

"I'm not empty." Zuko bit his cheek. It felt like he was burning from the inside out.

"No, you have plenty of chi. It's just all stuck here." Katara sighed, "I'm going to try and unravel this. It might hurt." 

"Don't hurt him. He's been through enough." Sokka scolded. 

"Well there's not much I can do until we get this fixed." Zuko knew Katara was glaring at him. He could feel it, "I think Aang said this is the Fire Chakra. And it's blocked up by shame. Does that sound right?"

"Well I've got shame." Zuko grit his teeth as Katara massaged his scar. His body was on fire. 

"Wouldn't his scar also block things up?" Sokka questioned. 

"Yes but this goes deeper than a scar." Katara shook her head, "Sokka, you'll take your thumbs and rub up his spine, like this."

Zuko whimpered and hid his blush in the pillows. The pressure felt incredible. She dug into the scar on his back and Zuko bit his pillow to keep any more noises from escaping. Sokka started combing through his hair with his fingers. Zuko closed his eyes and relaxed. Sokka's hands felt nice in his hair. 

"You're doing good, Zuko." Katara promised. She went back to letting her hands flow over his skin. Every brush up against his scar made him shiver. He felt impossibly sensitive and delicate. After a few more moments, she put her water away and stood up. Zuko felt a wave of exhaustion hit. He snuggled up to Sokka's thigh and closed his eyes. Sokka tried to stand up. Zuko whimpered. He was so soft and warm, he should stay close.

"I gotta go talk to my sister, but I'll be back after. Promise." Sokka told him. Zuko reluctantly let him go as he drifted into sleep.

~*~

He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, it was dark in his room when something stirred him into consciousness. He wasn't really awake, just vaguely aware of his room. 

"Sorry I took longer than I expected." Sokka's familiar voice whispered. He kissed Zuko's forehead softly, "You're beautiful. Goodnight."

Zuko heard the door close quietly and he fell back into the deepest sleep of his life.


	8. Sokka

Katara brought Sokka out into the dark hallway, "Zuko isn't healthy. He needs more than what I can give him, but I'm not sure what that more is. I don't know if marrying him is a good idea right now."

"I don't have much of a choice, Katara. Just tell me what I need to do for him." Sokka said.

"His earth chakra is fine. It's open and flowing really well. There's a major block in his water chakra, it feels like a scar, but I can't feel anything more. That'll need to be sorted out before you can work on the bigger problem." Katara explained.

"What's the bigger problem?" Sokka asked. What did he need to do?

"His fire chakra. He's carrying a lot of weight. It's going to take a long time to break it up and let it pass." Katara's lips turned down with concern.

"So what do I do?" Sokka sighed. 

"Massage like I showed you. Meditate with him. Talk things out with him. Aang can help you learn about chakras and chi and everything. Just keep hammering away." Katara shrugged. Her tone made her sound doubtful.

"Why do you hate him so much?" Sokka asked. 

"Because he tried to kill us. He stole Mother's necklace from me. He put a hit out on Aang. That doesn't raise any red flags?" Katara threw her hands up. 

"Quiet, he's sleeping." Sokka whispered, "That was a long time ago. Yeah, he's a little moody. But he's not blowing things up. He just yells a lot and then leaves, then later you can talk to him about it. He's trying."

"How do you know that?" Katara crossed her arms. 

"I started playing games with him, and the loser has to talk about something. He's throwing games so he can talk to me. He's telling me about his mom and how he likes having his hair brushed. He taught me how to feed the turtleducks. He buys me presents." Sokka insisted.

"Are you sure about this?" Katara bit her lip. 

"No, but what else am I supposed to do? I'm doing this in the name of peace and harmony and healing my country. This is a lot bigger than me." Sokka huffed. He'd traveled the world. He'd seen what damage could be done when people didn't forgive. He'd seen Jet lose his mind trying to destroy the Fire Nation. He'd seen Toph scream about how she didn't need a family. He'd seen his own sister track down the man that killed their mother with a promise to return the favor. The world needed to forgive the crimes of the Fire Nation, not forget, not sweep under the rug, but work together to guarantee it never happens again. 

"Aunt Wu said you'd-" 

"I don't care what Aunt Wu said. If living a life of self inflicted misery brings the world a step closer to harmony, then it's a small price to pay." Sokka had thought a lot about this. He'd seen every angle of the situation, and he'd thought it all through. 

"Just, remember to say hello to Dad." Katara stormed away from him. 

Sokka bit his tongue and walked out to the arena, far away from any bedrooms. He let out the loudest scream he could manage and kicked at the ground. Everything hurt. His stomach churned, blood flowed through his veins, goosebumps pricked at his skin. He fell back on the ground, and gazed up at the moon.

"Am I doing the right thing?" Sokka asked her. He felt a cool breeze blow over his face. There she was. He relaxed into the dirt and closed his eyes. He heart ached for more, but he couldn't be greedy. She was the moon after all, she needed to take care of moon business, "I just wanna go home. I wanna see Dad, and Gran Gran, and Bato. I wanna go ice fishing. I wanna sit by the fire with all out big coats on."

Cool moonbeams illuminated his face. She was here with him, he could tell. A sudden need overwhelmed him. A wash of desperation told him what he needed to do. Zuko needed to come home. He couldn't get better until that happened. Sokka didn't know why, but every muscle in his body knew that one simple fact. 

"Thank you, Yue. I love you." Sokka smiled up at her. He brushed off the dust and walked back to Zuko's room. He'd promised to stay with him tonight. 

~*~

Zuko had just finished meditating with Aang. Katara had suggested it as a jumping off point for future healing. But apparently, healing made Zuko feel a little off.

"Where are you going?" Sokka asked him. 

"What do you mean? I'm going to lunch." Zuko said. 

"You've been wandering in circles for about 15 minutes. You've passed the dining room about a dozen times." Sokka told him. Zuko stared at the ground and continued walking. Sokka watched him turn around the corner too late and run into the wall. Zuko scrambled to get up and brush himself off, frantically apologizing to the wall,"Maybe you should lay down for a minute?" 

"I'm fine. Just feel fuzzy." Zuko muttered and bit his thumb. 

"Good fuzzy or bad fuzzy?" Sokka hooked their arms together and escorted him to lunch. 

"Just, fuzzy. I think." Zuko said.

Sokka helped him take his seat at the dining table and turned to Aang, "I think he's broken." 

"No, that's normal. He's in the middle of trying to break through a lot of barriers. It'll get easier as he goes." Aang promised. 

"Can't you just break them for me?" Zuko pouted, "You're the Avatar."

"I still have limits. It's your battle to fight. I saw your pain, I felt how much it hurt. I'm really proud of you for holding all that." Aang smiled. Zuko looked away. 

"My pain is not for you." He mumbled. 

"No, I know. But you shouldn't feel like you're holding everything yourself. We can help." Aang promised, "What Zhao did-"

"Don't you dare say that name." Zuko look furious. Those eyes sent chills running down his spine. They looked so familiar, even after a year. Those eyes were a threat.

"What happened was horrible. I can't imagine how that must've felt." Aang reached out to hold his hand. Zuko jerked away. Sokka was immediately on his feet, trying to decide how to diffuse the situation. Sokka combed through Zuko's hair with his fingers.

"Zuko doesn't really like being touched when he's feeling a little sensitive." Sokka told Aang quietly. 

"I'm not sensitive!" Zuko screamed and pushed Sokka away. He stormed back to his room. Sokka took a step forward before Aang grabbed his arm. 

"Let him go." Aang said quietly. 

"You know what's going on?" Sokka looked back at him. 

"Kinda. I can pick up on some stuff while he's meditating and piece together the rest." Aang said. 

Sokka couldn't ask Aang to tell him. He couldn't invade his privacy like that. He took a deep breath and sat back down, he could always go check on him in a few minutes. 

"Come back home, Sokka." Katara urged. 

"No. We've been over this before." Sokka said. 

"I think Sokka needs to stay with Zuko." Aang told his girlfriend. She hung her head and left the room. Probably to go play with the water and think things through. 

~*~

Sokka was painting outside in the grass when Zuko sat next to him. He looked a little less angry now. Sokka could be thankful for that. 

"What are you painting?" Zuko peaked over his shoulder. 

"I'm capturing the beautiful landscape." Sokka gestured to the open field in front of him. Orange flowers dotted the grass in front of them. Clouds lined the horizon and gave way to the vast expanse of sky above them. 

"Is that me?" Zuko pointed to a scribbled figure with a scowl on his face.

"Yeah. And that's me." Sokka pointed to the drawing of himself.

"Why do I look so angry?" Zuko asked. 

"You always look angry. I don't think it's on purpose though." Sokka playfully nudged him. 

"I talked to the royal advisors." Zuko said. 

"What about?" Sokka turned to face him. 

"We're planning a diplomacy trip to the South Pole. We'll be leaving in a couple weeks." Zuko told him. 

Sokka couldn't help himself. He threw himself at Zuko and knocked him over, "You're taking me home."

Zuko returned the hug, his cheeks were bright pink, "The one condition is that we do need to have a Water Tribe wedding while we're there. Part of the diplomacy."

"You'll love it," Sokka sat back up to watch Zuko, "You can get to know Dad better, and meet my Gran Gran, and Bato, and it'll be so fun." 

"Won't it be cold?" Zuko asked. 

"We can get you some water tribe clothes. Don't worry about it, babe. We can go fishing together and cook together and dance at the wedding feast and it'll be great." Sokka grinned. His mind raced with possibilities.

"Babe?" Zuko his his face in his robes. 

"Sorry. I just got excited." Sokka inched away, "Thanks for planning this trip. I appreciate it."

"You'll introduce me to everyone?" Zuko sat back up.

"Of course. You'll be the village favorite in minutes." Sokka promised.

"But I-" 

"I know. But that's why we're getting married. And they do notice the change in the world. They've seen what you've done for them." Sokka smiled.

"Are you sure? I don't want to make things worse." Zuko stared at his lap. 

"Be open and honest with them. We're very understanding." Sokka stared at his pretty face. He was an attractive guy, even with the scar making his skin look molten. Sokka wondered how well he could hear with his misshapen ear. He'd been through so much. 

"They won't hate me?" Zuko sighed. 

"Maybe at first, but they'll come around." Sokka looped their pinkies together on the ground. Zuko leaned up against him, he didn't say a single word, just stayed close. 


	9. Zuko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kinda long. But a lot happens. So it's fine and okay. Could I split this into 2 chapters? Definitely. Will I? Absolutely not.

The Southern Water tribe was frigid. His blankets weren't doing enough to fight the cold. Sokka had promised him warm coats when they arrived, but the coast on the horizon seemed eons away. Sokka was already bundled up in his coat, mittens, and heavy boots. He was practically vibrating with excitement. Zuko was too cold to feel anything else.

"How do you keep your head shaved in this weather?" Zuko shivered. 

"You just get used to it I guess. I hadn't been anywhere that wasn't snowy and icey until we found Aang, so it's just normal." Sokka shrugged. He stood on the bow of the ship, and watched land grow closer. 

They docked as peacefully as they could. Zuko didn't want a repeat of last time. Zuko rubbed the pendant around his neck. He could feel the koi fish carved into the smooth stone. Sokka rushed down the gang plank and fell into his father's arms. Zuko followed shortly after, bundled in every blanket her could find. An old woman held out new clothes for him. He nodded a quick thank you, not wanting to speak out of turn. 

"Zuko! Go get changed and then you can meet everyone." Sokka pushed him into a little hut made of ice and shut him in with a curtain. The coat made him feel instantly warmer. Everything was lined with soft fur that felt so nice against his skin. He folded up his old clothes and his blankets before he left the building. 

He handed his clothes off to a guard just in time as Sokka grabbed his hand and brought him around to meet everyone. 

"This is my Dad, we broke him out of prison together." Sokka grinned.

"Thank you again." Hadoka nodded. 

"I was just there to help Sokka." Zuko deflected.

"You're staying with us while you're here, right?" Hakoda crossed his arms over his chest.

"If that's alright." Zuko stared up at him. Eye contact is polite and respectful.

"Of course, but I do expect you at dinner tonight." Hakoda's head was high. 

"Of course, wouldn't miss it." Zuko told him. 

"I'm Bato." The man standing behind Hakoda said. He was tall with thick, shaggy hair. His puffy, angular eyes looked more like Zuko's own than anyone else in the village, but his rough, structured face fit in so nicely with the rest of the Southern Water Tribe. 

"Zuko." He told him, "I don't believe we've met."

"No, but Hakoda has told me a bit about you, and Sokka made sure to fill in the gaps." Bato smiled. Sokka grinned widely. Zuko felt sick. What did they say about him? Did they mention the scar? Did Sokka apologize already? What if he said something they'd already heard and bored them? 

"Don't worry, I only talked about good stuff." Sokka hooked their index fingers together. Their pinkies were trapped in their mittens, "This is Kanna, and her husband Pakku." 

"You destroyed my city young man." Pakku stood up straight. 

"No, that was Zhao." Sokka defended. Zuko's heart sank. How could he be so rude, "Zuko kidnapped Aang during the seige, but I think you were faking your own death at the time."

"Yes, but I am sorry about the North Pole. My country did a lot of unforgivable things." Zuko looked down to show submission. He was not a threat.

"What fate did this Zhao face?" Pakku raised an eyebrow. 

"He was killed in the seige. The Fire Nation never recovered a body." Zuko explained. Pakku nodded thoughtfully. 

"Ignore my husband." Kanna stood straight faced, "Call me Gran Gran."

"I'm sorry for grabbing you like that." Zuko bowed, "I know it was years ago, but I hope to show you the better person I've become."

"Stand up straight, young man." She ordered. Zuko bolted upright. His whole body was tense, "Sokka trusts you, and that's good enough."

"Thank you." Zuko nodded to her instead of bowing. He turned to see little boys climbing all over Sokka. 

"Tell us more stories about the war!" One of them begged. He was missing most of his teeth, his two front teeth were still too big for his mouth and made him look like a rabbit. 

"Why don't you go ask Zuko if he's got any fun stories." Sokka told them. He glanced around dramatically and stage whispered, "He was part of the Fire Nation army."

The kids all gasped and hurried over to Zuko, "Oh, I don't know if I'm very good at stories."

"Please?" The kids begged. Their big eyes melted Zuko's heart and he finally relented. They all sat in front of him in the snow with Sokka sitting just as attentively at the side. He took care not to block their view. 

The buck toothed kid raised his hand, "How'd you get that scar?" 

"Yuka!" A woman scolded him, "That's very rude."

"No, it's okay. Kids are curious." Zuko sighed.

"A little too careless with your bending?" Hakoda mumbled under his breath.

"Actually it was my father." Zuko admitted. The children murmered under their breath. 

"What did he do?" One of them whispered. More of the adults started crowding around to here the tale. 

"Well, do you know who Firelord Ozai is?" Zuko glanced around the group. The children nodded sadly, "He was my father, and he really didn't like me very much. He invited me into the war room, to discuss invasions to the Earth Kingdom. I tried to tell him not to, but he wouldn't listen. He told me that I had disrespect him and the only way to regain my honor was to beat him in an Agni Kai."

"What's a Angi Kai?" One of the smaller children asked him. 

"It's a firebending duel." Zuko explained. 

"How old were you?" An adult asked this time. 

"I was 13. I refused to fight him and he burned me and banished me until I could bring back the Avatar. That's why I was here. I have another scar on my chest from my sister." Zuko told them. Hakoda's expression softened, "She tried to shoot lightning at Katara and I ran in front of her."

"You saved Katara?" Yuka asked. 

"And she saved me. She trapped my sister and helped me heal." Zuko smiled. She was off somewhere with Aang, but he would've thanked her again if he could. 

"Did you die like Aang?" Yuka yelled. 

"No, but I got close." Zuko said. 

"Alright kids, there will be plenty more story time while they're here." Hakoda announced. The children scurried off, chatting amongst themselves, "Come here, son."

Zuko looked up at him, then to Sokka, then back to Hakoda. He stood and followed him away from the crowd.

"Did you mean Sokka, or-" 

"No. I meant you." Hakoda nodded, "Call me Dad."

"What? But Sokka and I aren't married yet." Zuko shook his head.

"No, but you're engaged, you're wearing his necklace, and you need a better dad." He shrugged, "Welcome to the family."

Zuko's face burned as he bit back tears. Hakoda held out his arms for Zuko to step into a hug. His big arms were warm and safe. They weren't his fathers violent fists, or Zhao's unwanted caresses, they were like his mother's hugs. Big, warm, completely engulfing. He barely knew this man, and yet he was accepted into his home and his family without a second thought. Zuko let himself be completely absorbed. 

~*~

Dinner came late. Sokka went fishing with his Dad and left Sokka alone with Bato, Gran Gran, and Pakku. They tidied the house up for dinner and Zuko helped prepare a fire. Zuko breathed fire on his hands to keep them warm while he worked.

"I bet Sokka's a fan of that little trick." Bato chuckled. 

"I don't think I do it that often. Most firebenders can't bend when their too cold, but my uncle taught me a trick he learned from air benders." Zuko said. He was helping prepare seal leather before dinner. 

"We've got matching scars, you know. My arm got burned and it messed up the tendons, so now I can't hunt." Bato told him. Zuko looked over to him. He felt close to Bato, but he couldn't explain why.

An hour later they were all gathered for dinner, eating smoked fish and stew out of wooden bowls. Sokka and Hakoda traded war stories and caught up on each other's lives. Zuko stayed quiet, much more aware of the speed of his eating. If he ate too fast it would be messy and rude. But if he ate too slow they might think he didn't like their cooking. So he watched their bowls carefully to make sure he kept the proper pace. 

"So do you guys have a wedding planned?" Hakoda grinned. Zuko blinked and looked up at him. His voice caught in his throat. His stomach gurgled. 

"Oh, uh, we're in the process." Zuko squeaked. Bile burned the back of his tongue. 

"When is your wedding here going to be?" Hakoda set his bowl down and leaned back on his hands. Zuko ate too slow, he better eat faster and keep up.

"I'm not sure. Sok-" 

"Once I get us a house." Sokka promised. Zuko nodded, "Are you guys together? Katara said you might be."

"That's a conversation yet to happen." Hakoda said, "We did used to date."

"Really? When?" Sokka's eyes went wide. Zuko's eyes darted between the two. 

"Back when we all thought Bato was a girl. How old were we, 15? 16?" Hakoda looked back at his friend.

"That sounds right. You took me ice dodging when I was 17 and we'd already broken up by then." Bato shrugged. 

"Hold on," Zuko couldn't stop himself, "You used to be a girl?" 

"I've never been a woman, but the midwife didn't bother to ask me when I was born." Bato chuckled.

"Did you know there's a word for that? The Water Tribes are the only people that don't have one." Sokka leaned forward toward the group, "It's called transgender. Bato is a trans man."

"Huh. I still just feel like a normal man, but I suppose a label is nice." Bato nodded, "Are you planning on building a permenant home, Sokka?" 

Zuko stopped listening. Bato was like him. And not only did they share a history, he was completely unashamed by it all. He lived his life as a warrior, as a father figure, as a man, without all the mess and pain Zuko was surrounded by. He didn't run or hide, it wasn't swept under the rug for everyone's safety and sanity. Bato was just himself. Maybe there was hope for Zuko after all of this.

~*~

It was late, Bato stood and stared out at the tide. Zuko's anxiety froze him in place. His feet melted into the ground and locked him in place. He closed his eyes and forced himself forward. He hadn't breathed a word about this to anyone since he was six and he begged his mother to let him be a prince instead. 

"Hello, Zuko. Why aren't you in with Sokka? You must be freezing." Bato raised an eyebrow. 

"I have a problem. And I think you're the best person to ask for advice." Zuko nearly threw up. His whole body shook.

"I'm not sure what advice I can give, but I'd be happy to try." Bato shrugged. 

"I'm trans." Zuko blurted out, "And Sokka doesn't know and I'm really scared to tell him."

Bato stayed quiet for a moment and pondered the question, "Who all knows?" 

"My father, my mother if she's still alive, Azula but I'm not sure she remembers, my uncle, and uhm, one other person, but he's dead now." Zuko hung his head.

"Not exactly a celebration in the Fire Nation is it?" Bato questioned. 

Zuko shook his head, "It's dishonorable to go against your family. You should be grateful for the gift of life, not throwing it away for another." 

"I can promise you one thing. Our tribe thinks very differently. Water is fluid, and so are people. Change is expected, and welcomed. It builds the world we know." Bato explained. The tide lapped at the icey shore. There was a massive scar left from Zuko's ship in the harbor. There was too much guilt to look that direction.

"But you-" 

"Believe what you believe, but I don't think Sokka cares too much." Bato placed a strong hand on his shoulder.

"But how do I tell him?" Zuko flexed his fingers in his mittens. He wanted to bite his nails more than anything. 

"Just like you told me. He'll understand." Bato said with a small smile. Zuko nodded, "I wish you luck." 

"Are you ever scared you made the wrong decision?" Zuko asked. 

"Sometimes. But I'm so much happier now, so it never lasts very long." Bato told him, "Are you worried about that?" 

"I was still a kid when I told my Mom. I couldn't even firebend yet." Zuko bit his cheek.

"Do you regret it?" Bato asked him. Zuko shook his head, "Then you made the right choice."

"Can I ask about you? Like your whole experience with it?" Zuko needed solidarity. He needed someone to feel close to. 

"Well, the midwife thought I was a girl. I always liked hanging out with the boys more, always complained about teaching the kids and cooking and keeping house. When I was 17, I told Hakoda I thought I was a boy, then I told my family, and then the village, and now we're here." Bato explained with a small smile.

"How did everyone respond?" Zuko was feeling both so much lighter, and infinitely heavier. It felt so good to tell someone, but knowing Sokka, someone much more important, would have to know was terrifying.

"Hakoda told me I couldn't be a real man until I went ice dodging. And the next day we went out with Kya and I got a new title. My family brought in medicine from the North and I had surgery to flatten out my chest." Bato sighed deeply, "Do you have a story?"

"I kept complaining to my mother and insisting that I was a prince, not a princess. And when I was six, she helped me pick out a new name. Father refused to address it for years. I think I was 10 when Mother started giving me medicine. And then we switched it right before my accident." Zuko hung his head. Mother walked with a limp for a while after he turned 10. Zuko was sure she was going behind his father's back to give him what he needed, but she tried to keep the price she paid a secret. He couldn't be sure what happened to her. He wondered if Azula still remembered him from before.

~*~

Sokka was trying to bundle him up in furs for the night. Zuko had his own bed, but he was so cold Sokka insisted they share a mat. He wrapped Zuko up in layers and snuggled up as close as he could. Zuko buried his face in Sokka's warm chest. The world was quiet apart from the wind whipping around outside.

"Are you okay? You're shaking?" Sokka asked. 

Zuko could feel his insides twist up into his chest, making his heart pound painfully against his ribs hard enough he was sure one would crack. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"What's up?" Sokka pulled him closer. Zuko couldn't form words around the lump in his throat, "It's okay. You don't need to tell me things if you're not ready."

"No. I need to do this." Zuko took a shaky breath, trying to find his footing. 

"Okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay right here." Sokka whispered.

"I'm trans." Zuko muttered.

"Okay, you're still a he? I'm getting that right?" Sokka asked.

"Yes. Yeah. You're right. I'm a boy." Zuko waited for the slap in the face of his reaction. He waited for Sokka to turn over and insist it was time for bed. He waited to be ignored and forgotten. 

"Thank you for telling me. I'm assuming Aang knows because of Avatar magic or something. Do you want the others to know?" Sokka brushed his fingers through his hair. 

"I don't know." Zuko hadn't ever made it public knowledge before. He was just a family secret. 

"I'm happy to help if you decide to." Sokka squeezed him gently. 

"Why aren't you mad at me?" Zuko whispered. No one had ever acted so relaxed before. It was always a point of tension, even if there was a positive reaction. 

"Do you want me to be mad?" Sokka asked, "Oh no we can maybe have kids? Fuck you for being open and honest about yourself? I think that's it. Is that good?" 

Zuko giggled, "Thanks."

"I am glad you told me. Thank you." Sokka held him close, "Feeling a little warmer?"

"A little, yeah." Zuko felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. He couldn't remember a time ever being happier.

Sokka hit a tangle in his hair and made Zuko wince, "Sorry. When did you last brush your hair?" 

"Uh-" 

"I'll help you comb it out in the morning. We can give you a warrior's wolftail and you'll fit right in." Sokka told him. 

"Am I a warrior." Zuko asked. 

"Of course you are. Not only did you lead a military vessel, even if it was to capture us, you broke my dad out of prison and took a lightning strike to save my sister." Sokka said.

"Least I could do for a friend." Zuko shrugged. 

"I mean, you're not the best warrior of the tribe. You didn't invent a war balloon or lie to an owl and destroy a library." Sokka teased. 

"You lied to an owl?" Zuko laughed. 

"I needed information. After that I drank a ton of cactus juice and got really high on accident." Sokka explained.

"Sokka, there's a cactus juice black market in the Fire Nation. A bottle can go for 50 gold. And you didn't know it would get you high?" Zuko sat up and stared at him. 

"No, where would I see a cactus here? How would I know that?" Sokka shook his head, "Also it was a very rough couple of days."

"What happened?" Zuko furrowed his brows. 

"From what I remember, Toph was on fire, we were walking on the ocean like the Spirit Prince, I made friends with a mushroom, and Momo narced on me about the owl." Sokka counted on his fingers. 

"Oh my god." Zuko gasped, "You're so dumb."

"I didn't know. It's not my fault. Now come here, you're freezing." Sokka pulled him back down under the furs.


	10. Sokka

Sokka sat Zuko down in from of him to comb out his hair. He sat up on his knees to reach all his hair. His comb kept snagging on tangles and knots in his thick hair.

"For some reason I thought the Firelord would take better care of his hair." Sokka mumbled to himself.

"I have better things to do." Zuko pouted.

"Isn't hair a huge deal in the Fire Nation? You should take care of it." Sokka worked his comb through a particularly difficult knot. 

"It's always up anyway. It doesn't matter." Zuko winced at a particularly hard tug. 

"You still have to keep it healthy so it grows out nice. Brush it out, keep it clean and moisturized, trim off all the dead hair." Sokka finally managed to slip the comb smoothly through his hair.

"But it's so much work." Zuko groaned.

"It's good for you. You can ask for help. Do you know that?" Sokka was pretty sure he was done brushing it, but Zuko was so peaceful and calm. He couldn't just stop.

"How could you help with my hair?" Zuko rolled his eyes. He shoulders were relaxed and his eyes mostly closed. 

"I can help wash it, I can brush it for you, I can give you haircuts, lots of stuff." Sokka suggested. He wanted to lean down and kiss his head, but right now he had to be Momma Bear. He needed to make Zuko feel safe, "Hey, how often do you need to take your medication?" 

"What?" Zuko turned to look up at him.

"Turn around, I'm not done. Your boy juice or whatever, I wanna make sure you're not missing doses." Sokka wished he could pull him into a hug and breath in his sweet campfire smell. 

Zuko stiffened, "Every two weeks." 

"Relax, we're almost done. When was the last you had it?" Sokka set the comb down and parted his hair to line up with the arch of his eyebrows. 

"Right before we left." Zuko sat up straight, and stared dead ahead. 

"Good job. Proud of you." Sokka gathered up his hair and tied it back, the sign of a true warrior, "Okay, let me see."

Zulo turned around. With his hair pulled up and out of his face, Sokka could see just how soft and round his cheeks were. His heart melted at how sweet his face looked. His rosy cheeks flushed red, "You're staring."

"You're really cute. But, Dad wants to talk to you, so we gotta go." Sokka helped him stand. Zuko bit his nails. 

"Is everything okay?" He asked, his eyes wide with concern.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Sokka shrugged. 

"Why are you staring at me?" Zuko blushed. 

"You've got nice eyes." Sokka said, "You look so good."

Zuko looked down at the floor, "Should we go see your dad?" 

"Oh, yeah. Let's go do that." Sokka shook his head. Zuko looped his finger around Sokka's and made him smile.

The whole tribe had gathered in the center of the village. His father stood with a bowl, his glove taken off and tucked under his arm.

"Firelord Zuko." Hakoda nodded his head as they stepped closer.

"Cheif Hakoda." Zuko said. 

"I've had a very long discussion with my tribe." Hakoda stood proud, "You have righted a lot of wrongs. You saved me from Boiling Rock, you supported my son, and saved my daughter."

Zuko blinked. Sokka took a step away, leaving Zuko alone with his father. 

"This mark is for honorary members of our tribe. Last gifted to Aang of the Southern Air Temple, it's now gifted to you." Hakoda dipped his finger in the black ink and drew a small arch between Zuko's eyebrows, "Firelord Zuko, I give to you, the mark of the trusted."

Hakoda bowed. Zuko's lip quivered as he bit back sobs. Sokka followed his father's lead and bowed to his husband to be. Soon the rest of the tribe followed their example. Tears streamed down Zuko's cheeks. 

"I was so scared you would hate me for what I did." Zuko choked on the words, "I'm honored."

Hakoda wrapped him up in a hug. Sokka watched him cry into his father's chest. Bato stepped forward and enveloped the pair in his big arms, Sokka followed suit. He wanted to whisk him away and kiss him all over and make him feel worthy. 

"I'm this tribe, we forgive each other, we accept and we move on. Change is good, and powerful, and strong. I am happy to welcome you as my son." Hakoda said.

~*~

That night they held a huge feast. Sokka had put the finishing touches on a temporary little ice hut for the pair of them and was planning his kidnapping. Zuko had no clue of course, which made it all the more exciting.

Sokka threw his arms around Zuko's shoulders. He wanted to plant a kiss on his cheek, but didn't want to make Zuko feel uncomfortable.

"Suki." A little girl pointed at him. She was barely two yet. 

"No, Miki. Zuko. Suki is back in Kyoshi." Sokka told her.

"You can call me Zuzu." Zuko knelt next to her.

"Zuzu!" Miki cheered, "Story again?" 

"Oh, yeah. Another story." Sokka had a hand on his shoulder. 

"What do you want to hear about?" Zuko asked. 

"Come sit by the fire and let's tell war stories." Sokka dragged him by the wrist and sat him down by the fire. It didn't take long for a crowd to join, both children and adults circled around them. Miki was scooped up by her mother and brought over to the bonfire. 

"What were you doing during the eclipse?" One of the boys asked. 

"I was having a conversation with my father." Zuko shrugged, "Much less exciting than Sokka leading an army."

"How did you break Hakoda out of prison?" Another boy raised his hand.

"Well, it was all Sokka's idea. He asked me about Fire Nation prisons, and I sort of stayed up all night and waited for him on Appa." Zuko blushed, "We disguised ourselves as guards and waited for war prisoners to arrive."

"We found Suki there." Sokka raised his hand. 

"Yes, we found Suki and Sokka came up with a plan to disconnect a freezer and float across the boiling water, right past the guards-"

"Whats a freezer?" A little girl asked. 

"Oh, I suppose that wouldn't make sense here." Zuko bit his lip, "Well, it's a big tank full of ice, and firebenders usually don't do very well in the cold-"

"Mom, he needs a blanket!" The little girl ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his tummy. 

Zuko smiled and set her on his lap, "It's okay, because my uncle taught me a secret trick."

"A trick?" Her eyes went wide. 

"Yeah." Zuko turned away from her and breathed out the smallest puff of flame. Sokka's knees went weak. The little girl clapped.

"Did you die?" A little boy raised his hand. 

"No. But my ex girlfriend did slap me." Zuko shrugged.

"If you like girls why are you marrying Sokka?" The boy asked. 

"I don't like girls, it was just, complicated." Zuko frowned, "Sokka is very nice, and funny, and gentle. And he puts up with me."

"What happened next?" The girl on his lap asked. Sokka felt so warm and fuzzy seeing them together. Maybe his dreams of being a dad weren't as far away as he thought. Sokka sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to hear him talk about the rest of the prison break. How they found Hakoda, and Zuko's meeting with Mai, and Azula getting beat up. They told stories about Aang and the comet, and Zuko's mother, and what it was like in the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation. Zuko told them about Jet, Sokka kept blowing raspberries during the story and made the kids giggle. 

By the end of the night, the little girl had fallen asleep on Zuko and Sokka wasn't far behind. Her mother whisked her away to bed and Sokka held his waist and pulled him closer. 

"You coming to bed, Sokka?" Zuko whispered.

"Yeah, you go on ahead and I'll catch up." Sokka sat up and stretched. Zuko nodded and started to walk away, "What, no good night kiss?" 

"Very funny." Zuko rolled his eyes and walked back to the hut.

Sokka glanced around for his father. Bato was supposed to go inside and see when Zuko went to bed, but also keep him awake until Sokka could come in. 

"You nervous?" Hakoda asked. 

"Yeah." Sokka sighed.

"Just don't drop him and it'll be fine." His father smiled. Bato gave the signal from the house and Sokka took a deep breath before he set off.

Zuko was already mostly asleep when Sokka snuck into the little room. He didn't want to scare Zuko and get attacked, so he whispered oh so quietly to announce he was here.

"Hi, Sokka." Zuko muttered. Sokka scooped him up and Zuko let out a little squeak. He carried him out of the little hut, taking the long way through the center of the village to show him off. Zuko looped his arms around Sokka's neck and hid in his shoulder, "Are we getting married?" 

"Yeah. What do you think of the wedding?" Sokka whispered. 

"Warm." Zuko said. Sokka smiled and brought him inside the new little hut he'd finished this morning. He tucked Zuko into the furs and took his hair down to snuggle up next to him.

Sokka tilted Zuko's chin up with his fingers and pulled him into a kiss. Zuko held his cheeks softly and brushed his hair back behind his ear, Sokka's hand settled on his hip, he thumb tracing over his hip bone. The world around them was quiet. The cold air made their warm breath tingle on each other's skin. Sokka lost track of where his body ended and Zuko's began, but he didn't mind. It felt good to touch, and be touched, to love and be loved.

Sokka made a bold move and rolled over onto Zuko. He let out a little gasp and ran his fingers through Sokka's hair. Sokka giggled, "You're so cute."

"Shut up." Zuko told him. 

Sokka smiled into the kiss and ran his fingers just under the hem of Zuko's tunic. His muscles tensed under his smooth, soft skin. He made the sweetest little sound and Sokka pushed on. He pressed his hand flat against his stomach. He was so warm, even hot, his skin almost burning.

Sokka sat up and saw Zuko wincing, "Too much?" 

Zuko nodded violently. Sokka moved his hand and rolled over to his side. Zuko let out a breath.

"What part was too much?" Sokka asked as softly as he could. 

"You just, started touching, and it was nice, and it felt good, but I, I didn't know if you'd stop, like if I asked, I didn't want-" 

"Hey, baby, what's up?" Sokka asked. Zuko snuggled back into his chest. 

"I'm just scared. I'm sorry." He whispered. 

"I'll always listen. I'll always stop. You don't need to worry." Sokka combed through his hair with his fingers.

"Promise?" Zuko asked.

"I promise." Sokka kissed his forehead. 

"I think I want to kiss you more often." Zuko said into his tunic under the pile of fur. 

"You can kiss me whenever you want." Sokka said. Zuko pressed his lips to the corner of Sokka's jawbone. He hissed through his teeth and tightened his grip on his hair.

"Is that bad?" Zuko pulled away, his eyes wide.

"No, it feels good, just sensitive there." Sokka smiled. Zuko blushed and hid in his chest, "You're good, babe. You're alright. You're safe."

Zuko hummed quietly and grabbed fistfuls of Sokka's tunic. Sokka brushed through his hair until he fell fast asleep in his arms.


	11. Iroh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Zuko is addressed with she/her pronouns for a bit, but those events take place before he's out as trans. It is in no way meant to misgender him.

Iroh remembered his brother's first child. Named for Ozai's grandfather, the little spark was full of life from the start. Lu Ten got along fantastically with his new cousin, despite already being 10 years old. He remembered soothing the little toddler who tripped and fell. He remembered helping Ursa with reading lessons. He remembered believing that beautiful life would never be able to make fire.

One of his most prominent memories of Ozai's eldest was a tantrum thrown when forced to wear a dress and braided hair. Iroh recalled a moment when Ursa had come to him begging for advice.

"I don't think my little girl is happy." She hung her head, "She yells and screams, she bit her father, she refuses to be addressed as a princess. I don't know what to do with her."

"Would you like me to have a word with her?" Iroh asked.

Ursa sighed, "Please? I'm at a loss."

Iroh had walked down to the child's bedroom, decorated with drawings and model ships and stuffed Rabbaroos. He sat on the bed, watching the spark of life create misshapen human figures on the page.

"Good morning." Iroh grinned. 

"Hello, uncle. Look what I made. That's me and Mom, and that's Dad and Azula." Two angry figures stood surrounded by red and orange scribbles. The other two were happy and held flowers.

"An artistic prodigee." He laughed, "You know, your mother is very worried about you. She says you are misbehaving and do not seem to enjoy your title as princess."

"I'm not a princess." The little one pouted, "I am the crown Prince, and my name is Lee."

"Ah, I see. How long ago did you decide you are the prince?" Iroh asked. 

"Uhm, I don't know. I always thought I was the prince, but then dad yelled and stuff when I told him so." Lee dug into the paper and tore a hold over Ozai's face. 

"Well, Prince Lee." Iroh bowed respectfully, "Would being a prince help you feel better?"

"I already am a prince. But you all keep treating me like a girl and it's stupid." Lee sneered. 

"What can your mother and I do for you?" Iroh asked. 

"Treat me like I'm a boy." Lee said with a nonchalance that Iroh could hardly fathom, even now. 

Prince Lee did not stay Lee. His mother helped him pick a new name, a more fitting name, Prince Zuko. Ursa was terrified her child would regret the decision, but he never seemed to. He was much happier once things started changing. 

Ozai was the last bridge to cross. He had forbidden his wife from indulging Zuko, burned her when he found out she'd been giving him medicine. Zuko had learned early to keep it quiet, don't ask, don't tell. He stayed close to his mother, and far from his father. And yet Iroh knew he was always eager to prove his worth as Ozai's son. He rarely went out to feed the turtleducks. He stopped painting. He took lessons in sword fighting and martial arts instead of the guqin he had loved so dearly. 

Iroh remembered his nephew knocking on his bedroom door in tears and throwing himself into a hug. Iroh tried to get him to calm down and talk about what was going on. The most he could get out what that Zhao had invited him for tea. Judging from Zhao's miraculous career growth despite being nearly useless on the field, Iroh had a hunch blackmail was involved somehow. Not six months later was his accident.

Iroh had seen so much pain, so much hate grow and fester in that boy. It made Iroh's heart ache to watch. He had always loved Zuko, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, he hated his brother for what he had done. He hated the Fire Nation. He hated the dragon of the west and the fear and torment he'd brought. But he poured everything he had into making sure Zuko felt love.

And now the Water Tribe boy had arrived, and Zuko was back to yelling and screaming and fighting. But he smiled, he sat by the pond and taught him how to feed the turtleducks, he was helping him learn calligraphy, he had plucked his guqin for the first time in years.

Today he watched his nephew steal little kisses from the boy from the South. He laughed at a joke Iroh didn't understand and it was musical and magical.

"Zuko, you still haven't gotten me a new dress. We're married now and I think that means you need to buy me stuff." Sokka folded his arms. Zuko had taken off the necklace after their meeting today. 

"What kind of dress would you like?" Zuko rolled his eyes.

"Something that's not so unbearably hot." Sokka groaned.

"I'll see what I can do." Zuko stood up on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. Iroh couldn't stop a smile from spreading across his face. Zuko seemed so relaxed since they'd returned, he was happy and in love, whether he knew it or not. 

"Young love is a beautiful thing." Iroh smiled. Zuko blushed.

"They'll write poetry about us." Sokka counted syllables on his fingers, "Firelord Zuko, he loved the turtleduck pond, and married Sokka."

"You're so dumb." Zuko giggled.

"You seem much happier, Firelord Zuko." Iroh smiled. 

"I told Sokka about, the thing, you know." Zuko played with the hem of his sleeves. 

"About how you're trans?" Sokka stage whispered. Zuko nodded, "Cool."

"Very good, I am proud." He said. Zuko smiled. Iroh was always proud, always. But especially now, after everything that happened. 

~*~

Iroh and Sokka sat down for tea and a game of pai sho. Sokka had come to him yet again for advice, and Iroh was more than happy to oblige. 

"So, has Zuko ever had like a real relationship? I know he dated Mai for a while, but he said he didn't have feelings for her and he gets weird when I ask." Sokka tilted his head.

"I believe he carried a flame for a young man in Ba Sing Sae, but it was extinguished quickly. He went out with a lovely young lady at the tea shop, but he later told me he preferred the company of men." Iroh said. 

"So he is gay. I knew it." Sokka smirked. 

"You didn't hear that from me." Iroh hadn't meant to reveal that little tidbit, but given the circumstances, it would be difficult not to have noticed by now. 

"Do you know what happened with the guy?" Sokka asked.

"I never asked. Zuko met him while traveling, they spent most nights on the boat together, and he snuck out quite a bit when we first got to the city." Iroh sipped his tea and placed a tile, "He never came home happy."

"Sounds like Jet." Sokka scoffed. 

"I'm surprised you know his name." Iroh raised an eyebrow. 

"Wait, Zuko dated Jet?" Sokka scowled, "My little sister was into him for a while."

"You must know him better than I do. They were together a few weeks before he threatened us in the tea shop. Zuko was all too ready to defend our honor." Iroh chuckled. Zuko had terrible taste in men, but Iroh had done good nudging him in the right direction this time around. 

"Jet gave his life for us, so I can't talk too badly about him. But there was a point in time where I would've strangled that little monster if given half the chance." Sokka groaned.

"You have a fierce protective streak in you. I'm glad you can care for my nephew." Iroh smiled at the boy. 

"I had to protect my people for so long. Honestly I was convinced I wouldn't make it out of the war alive." Sokka stared into his tea, contemplating, "But I'm here now, and I guess my purpose is to help make the world peaceful again."

"Your purpose is to find happiness, and excitement for the future. It is something you give yourself, not something thrust upon you." Iroh had lost everything when he lost his son. He'd lost his hope, his joy, his love. Perhaps he shouldn't have taken Zuko as a replacement, perhaps he should've just let things be, but in the moment it seemed that Zuko needed a father, and Iroh needed a son.

"I don't know what makes me happy." Sokka shook his head. 

"When do you feel most at peace with the world?" Iroh asked. 

"When I'm making stuff, and solving problems." Sokka sighed, "I like working on something really hard, and then having a thing."

"My nephew used to paint, but it was given up long ago. Maybe you can respark that joy in him." Iroh suggested. 

"I'm a terrible artist." Sokka whispered. 

"You can learn together. Or you can study with the architects, or take lessons at the university, or help my nephew with some much needed renovations to the palace." Iroh knew he was being selfish to ask Sokka to help his nephew. He knew he should allow him to be his own man outside of the marriage, but Iroh missed seeing Zuko's broad smiles and excited eyes when he showed off the art he had made. 

"Maybe it would be nice to learn how to paint." Sokka contemplated the idea, "And it might be a good bonding experience."

"I think he would appreciate the kindness." Iroh said, "Maybe then you can get better at pai sho."

He set down his last piece and won the game.

"What the fuck?" Sokka whispered, staring at the game board, "How did you do that?" 

"Distraction is a powerful ally." Iroh grinned.

"One day, I'll beat you at this game." Sokka squinted at him. 

"I hope to be bested by you before my age." He chuckled.


	12. Sokka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I missed Tuesdays update! I had to rewrite this chapter and work was insane, but I'm here, with a slightly shorter chapter than normal. We should be back to normal next week :)

Sokka had taken Iroh's advice and taken a painting class with Zuko. It was taught by a very kind man by the name of Guo Cheng. His deep red hanfu was embroidered with gold. His long hair was tied up in a traditional top knot. His skin was sun beaten and wrinkles around his kind eyes.

"Good morning boys." Guo Cheng bowed deeply, "It is an honor to paint with you today." 

"The honor is ours." Zuko bowed back. Sokka grinned. 

"Now, today we will start with a landscape painting. But you may use these skills for any painting you wish." He said. He had his canvas set up so the two boys could see what he was doing. He showed them how to load their brushes with ink and water to create the gradient, "A large decision must be made to begin. We must bring a mountain into our world. It can go wherever you'd like, but I think his home is right here."

He moved the brush across the rice paper in a way Sokka envied. The grace and subtlety of his movements was powerful in its simplicity. Sokka furrowed his brow to try and replicate it.

"Master Sokka, you are choking your brush. Allow it to become an extension of your fingertips. Trust it enough to give up your control." Guo Cheng had him hold the back end of his brush to create a large surface for his ink to go, "Master Zuko, use your elbows and your shoulders. The ink flows as you do. Restriction creates darkness."

Guo Cheng brought another mountain into existence, pushing the first back into space. Sokka stuck out his tongue and followed his example. 

"We are all capable of moving mountains if life demands so." He chuckled and continued painting. He added rocky landmasses below his mountains, creating cliffs and outcroppings of stones. Sokka and Zuko copied him closely, "Do you think there are little creatures in your worlds? I believe an eagle hawk likes to rest here."

"Bagdermoles live in my mountains." Sokka said definitively. He could picture them digging through the stoney soil, running from the wolfbats. Maybe he could learn dramyin so he could play for them, "Do you have animals, Zuko?" 

"Uhm. I don't know. Maybe an antelope goat? The rocks are salty and it likes to come lick them." Zuko said.

"Let us add some trees to give my eagle hawk a home and give shade to your antelope goats. Perhaps even the badgermoles can nest in the roots." Guo Cheng smiled. He instructed then on how to fill their brush with more ink to create harsher lines, "To create a tree requires a stubborn hand. You must be determined and decisive with your strokes."

The trunk of the tree appeared out of his brush. Sokka scribbled out the base of the tree but Zuko sat and stared at his canvas. 

"Master Zuko, act quickly or the ink with dry in your brush. No mistakes can happen here." Guo Cheng said with a smile, "Master Sokka, you are quite confident in your choices. Be sure your confidence holds as you progress, as regret can be a painful thing."

Zuko took a deep breath and painted. His strokes were shaky and a little scrambled, but it worked well, He whispered to himself, "I ruined it."

"Why? It looks nice." Sokka leaned over. 

"But it's too curvy. I wanted this to be straighter and it just juts out weird." Zuko bit his lip. 

"No mistakes, Master Zuko. That is where the tree needed to be. Do not fight the tides, work with them and they will guide you home." He said. Sokka smiled and added branches to his little tree. He found it very peaceful to sit and paint. He was still clumsy with his brush, but it looked good. The soft gradients were much more pleasant than his typical harsh lines, but he did wish he could add a rainbow. 

"Zuko look at my tree! It's so pretty." Sokka pointed to his paper. Zuko huffed, "What's wrong?" 

"I don't like it." He frowned at his own painting. 

"Why? It's good." Sokka asked.

"It's wrong." He pouted. 

"Master Zuko, let go of your control. Perfection cannot be sought out, only stumbled upon." Guo Cheng told them. Zuko took a deep breath and continued working. They were taught how to press the brush onto the paper to create leaves. Sokka grinned and moved his brush across the paper, rolling lovely little leaves out and giving his trees a lush fullness.

Sokka swapped hands to paint with his left hand and reached out for Zuko, letting him hook their pinkies together. Sokka smiled and watched Zuko paint. Sokka smiled to himself and filled his paper with washes of gray and blue. He added some bushes growing between the rocks and Zuko painted a bird in his sky. 

"Very good Master Sokka." Guo Cheng laughed and bowed, "You have a natural talent."

"Why do you keep calling us master?" Sokka asked, "We're learning from you."

"I teach you to paint, but my students teach me a great deal as well." Guo Cheng said, "Master Zuko teaches me to welcome darkness, for sometimes the dark brings reverent introspection. You teach me to embrace light, and enjoy the work I put in the world."

"You didn't already know that?" Sokka tilted his head.

"Certain lessons bear repeating. Iroh tells me you have trained under Piandao. A good man, and a good teacher." Guo Cheng said with a chuckle.

"You know Piandao?" Sokka grinned. 

"I've known him for many years. We have book club together." Guo Cheng smiled.

"I wanna join book club." Sokka gasped. He would love to see Piandao again, and have fancy old people book club. They probably drank tea and ate fancy food and discussed literature and philosophy. Sokka wanted to be fancy. 

"Sokka, you're dyslexic." Zuko whispered.

"You can read to me." Sokka shrugged. 

Guo laughed again, bright and cheerful, "You two teach me of love."

Sokka watched Zuko's cheeks grow hot. His grip tightened on the brush and Zuko shook his head, "We're not in love."

"You don't need to be. Friends can have a deep love for each other, and that is different than the bond you may have with a sibling, and even that is different than the passion you may feel for a spouse." Guo Cheng explained. 

Sokka thought about how much he loved his sister, and how much he worried about Toph, and the heartbreak he felt with Yue, and his love for Suki never dissappearing, but evolving into something else. He thought about his father, and Aang, and Bato. And he thought about Zuko. He thought about his mood swings, and his pessemism, and his horrible self esteem, and how much help he needed to get through the day. He thought about him by the the turtleduck pond, and falling asleep waiting for Sokka, and holding his pinkie for support, and telling stories to the water tribe kids.

~*~

"They look great." Sokka grinned. Their paintings were hung up in the hall between their bedrooms. 

"I hate mine." Zuko crossed his arms. 

"Yours is so much better though." Sokka nudged him, "You're actually good at painting."

"It looks bad." Zuko frowned. 

"Well I like it, so you have to keep it up." He smiled. 

"Or I could burn it." Zuko shrugged. 

"But you won't." 

"Why not."

Sokka smirked, "Because I told you not to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guo Cheng comes from the traditional Chinese painters Guo Xi and Li Cheng.
> 
> Also they're doing ink wash painting, and there are some gorgeous videos you can watch about it.


	13. Zuko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: dangerous situations, minor foot stuff (not sexy feet, just foot centric)

Zuko had no idea why Sokka was so set on the dress idea, but here he was. He'd requested something light, flowy, breezy. Zuko knew he felt stifled and overheated in the Fire Nation, and he supposed wearing a lightweight skirt could help a little. 

"Zuko, what do you think?" Sokka spun around. His big red skirt hung low on his hips, but spun gracefully. The top is really what interested Zuko. It was comprised of a band of deep red fabric around his chest that climbed across and around one shoulder, cutting a diagonal over his clavicle. Layered on top was a sheer red shawl that draped over his shoulder and around his hips, mirroring the top.

"It's, well. It's, uh," Zuko was having a hard time making coherent thoughts. He was too distracted by the V his hips made and how pretty his deeper skin looked with that sheer red silk against it. The little happy trail the disappeared below his waistband seemed particularly inviting.

"You hate it." Sokka crossed his arms. 

"No its really, really cute. It's just-" 

"Just that you don't like it." He pouted. 

"No, I'm just distracted by your stomach that's all." Zuko blurted out before he could stop himself. They both blushed and turned to face the other way, "Is it, comfortable, and stuff?" 

"Yeah. It's a lot cooler than pants. I'm not so overheated." Sokka shrugged.

"That's good." Zuko nodded. He wanted his hands on his pretty tummy. He wished he could just lean down and kiss him. Feel those firm muscles under his skin.

"You're staring." Sokka said. 

"Sorry." Zuko averted his eyes.

"It's okay. You can stare." Sokka shrugged. Zuko's face felt impossibly hot. Almost feverish. 

"Excuse me, Prince Sokka." The seamstress bowed deeply, refusing to make eye contact, "I do not mean to intrude, but I would like to request the ability to check for possible alterations." 

"Oh, like pin it and stuff?" Sokka blinked. She nodded, "Okay. You don't have to bow about that. Just tell me to shut up so you can work."

Her eyes went wide with fear, "Oh, but you are the prince of the Fire Nation. I could never show that much disrespect towards someone of such high rank."

"Ziu, we are humbly requesting your service, the least we can do for you is let you do your work." Zuko promised her, "It's an honor to have such finely made clothing."

She looked close to tears. She dropped down on her knees in a bow, "Firelord Zuko, I-" 

"No need to bow. I'm not my father." Zuko held out his hand to help her back up. She scurried over to Sokka and pinned his clothes together with shaking hands.

"I really like this thing." Sokka motioned to the sheer sash.

"With the return of the Avatar, the robes of the air benders are becoming quite stylish. In this piece I included a sari, and one I have it altered, I will add some gota patti around the hemline." She gestured to the bottom of the skirt.

"You have a good eye for detail." Zuko told her. She blushed.

"Thank you." She smiled, "It's a true passion of mine."

"I was too stupid to learn how to sew. So Katara always did it for me." Sokka shrugged. 

"Katara?" Ziu blinked.

"My little sister. She's amazing." Sokka grinned.

"She is the one who saved me from Azula." Zuko explained. 

"Your majesty, I thought you were the one that struck her down." Ziu gasped.

"No. We had an Agni Kai, but I got arrogant, and she struck me with lighting. Katara chained her up, and saved me to take the palace." Zuko explained.

"Why aren't you marrying her? If she saved your life, why her brother?" She asked.

"I can't compete with the Avatar. They've been dating for a year now." Zuko said. Sokka stuck his tongue out. 

"It's so gross. They kiss and hold hands, and Aang calls her sweetheart. It's awful." Sokka groaned. Zuko giggled. 

"They're kids." Zuko smiled. 

"Well they should be more considerate of my feelings and stop giving me the oogies." Sokka pouted. Zuko rolled his eyes.

~*~

Zuko knew something was wrong. This was a new guard, a new face, one no one seemed able to explain. He'd been there a few days, and now he was following Zuko and Sokka. Zuko thought back to all those death threats now long discarded. He looked around the hall, trying to stay as unassuming as possible. He would raise no alarm bells, he'd let the new guard think he was still unnoticed. He saw a flash of something shiny under his sleeve. 

"Sokka." Zuko whispered under his breath, "There is a man behind us. He's been following us around the palace and I have a bad feeling."

"What do you need?" Sokka whispered. 

"Up at this intersection of hallway, there is a jar hanging up on the left wall by those banners. Do you see it?" Zuko asked. 

"Yes." Sokka nodded. 

"Get as far in front of me as you can. As soon as we pass, it, smash that jar on the ground. It will be loud, don't panic." Zuko said, "Then run to the bunker. I'll catch up pretty quick."

"Okay." Sokka's expression hardened.

And they continued walked, just as before. Sokka took larger steps, leaving Zuko behind. Zuko could hear the guard walking faster, getting closer. Sokka grabbed the jar and threw it to the ground. It made a massive bang as it was broken, much louder than shattered pottery should be. Sokka sprinted forward and Zuko stepped over the oil slick on the ground. He blasted a fire ball back at the man and bolted, glancing over his shoulder to make sure the oil lit as intended.

It only bought them a couple seconds, but it was a couple seconds they needed. Zuko ran as hard as he could, but the false guard was gaining fast. They could cut across the courtyard and gain a few seconds if he was fast enough. He wouldn't have time to tell Sokka. He pushed Sokka over the halfwall, careful to meet their chests together. Sokka yelped, but gave way easilyHe rolled forward in the grass and popped back up, tugging Sokka along until he got his footing. He run through the archway and lead Sokka through the palace into the safe house. 

When he saw the Fire Sages running down the halls, he felt a rush of relief. They let Zuko and Sokka pass and stood to defend their Firelord.

Zuko pulled Sokka through the secret passage, through the tunnels, into the safe house. They were sealed inside. His breathing was hot, heavy, his chest heaved. His thighs burned.

"What the fuck." Sokka whispered. Zuko laughed. He didn't know what else to do, "Maybe more warning before you just fucking tackle me."

"Sorry. I was just trying to get space between us." Zuko panted and held Sokka's shaking hand. 

"How long do we sit here?" Sokka asked. 

"As long as it takes. Last time just a few hours, but you never know. The Fire Sages will be in and out, so we can ask for things of we're here long." Zuko collapsed on the couch in their little sitting room. Even at the end of the world, the Firelord could afford luxury. 

"Last time?" Sokka sat down and took Zuko's legs into his lap. 

"Yeah. Like six months after it all ended. I told you, my people hate me." Zuko adjusted himself on the couch so he could look up at Sokka, who was fiddling with Zuko's boots.

"I don't hate you." Sokka smiled. Zuko felt a rush of warm feelings through his toes. He was reminded of sweet little Mai, and how badly he hurt her. That heart grew more intense, until it burned a hole through his chest. 

"I don't hate you too." Zuko told him. 

Sokka had pulled his shoes of and gently rubbed his feet, "Your uncle says you dated Jet."

"Oh no." Zuko groaned, "We can just forget that happened."

"You know, my sister had a thing with him for a while. What do you people see in him?" Sokka asked, massaging Zuko's feet. 

"He knew how to be appealing. He knew how to make you feel for him." Zuko said, "He made me feel special."

"Did you two, uh-" 

"Oh fuck no." Zuko crinkled his nose, "I never told him about, you know, stuff, and he tried shoving his hands down my pants and I kinda knocked him to the ground."

"Oh shit." Sokka laughed, "Should've beat his ass."

"I did later, don't worry." Zuko smiled. They had formed a little bubble, safe from the outside world, safe from the false guard. They were together, and that's what mattered. Sokka kissed the ball of his foot and started on the next one, "Gross."

"Not really." Sokka shrugged, "I'm forcing you to take care of yourself. That was stressful."

"I've had worse days." Zuko said. 

"Doesn't matter. Bato always said drowning is drowning, be it pot or sea." Sokka said. 

"But I can do it on my-" 

"But you can't, so I'm helping. Also I'm freaked out, and taking care of people makes me feel good." Sokka kissed his lower leg.

"You're kissing a lot." Zuko whispered. 

"Is that a problem?" Sokka asked. 

Zuko shook his head, "I think I like kisses."

"Good." Sokka leaned over and kissed his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sokka's dress is inspired by the Indian [Lehenga-Choli](https://pin.it/6I1kx1s), and Thai [Chakkri](https://pin.it/1lsAJfE).
> 
> I'm basing the Fire Nation on a blend of Chinese and Thai influence, so the Indian is a little out of left field. But I thought Sokka would look good in it, so it's fine.


	14. Sokka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Parental death, Zuko gets misgendered as a baby
> 
> So, I took a surprise week off. My brain was totally broken and I desperately needed it. If you follow me on Tumblr (@spiderman1644) then I will post any future updates so I don't just leave yall in the dust.

Zuko was working in the archives today. His hair was starting to fall out of his top knot. He was hunched over some roll of parchment, rubbing at his eyes.

"You learning anything good?" Sokka stood behind Zuko and worked to untie the ribbon keeping his hair tied up. His hair fell in curtains around his face, and Sokka combed it back with his fingers. Zuko's shoulders relaxed. 

"Nothing I didn't already know. My father married Mother for power. She was a non bender but he publically announced she was a fire bender to uphold his reputation." Zuko sighed loudly, "Another thing my people need to learn."

"He was that bitchy about the bender thing?" Sokka's eyes went wide. 

"You have no idea." Zuko whispered.

"You wanna talk about it?" Sokka pulled his hair back into a little wolf's tail, retying the top knot at the crown of his head. 

"I was a late bender." Zuko leaned his head back on his chair, gazing up at Sokka, "Nothing until I was almost 9."

"Really?" Sokka smirked, "Dad wasn't too happy about that I presume?" 

"No." Zuko said, "I'm so tired."

Sokka leaned over and pecked his lips softly. It felt odd with Zuko's face upside down, "Come take a break."

"I can't. I'm so close to finishing." Zuko groaned. He looked so pretty with his neck all stretched out. Sokka could think of quite a few ways to keep Zuko's mind away from his work.

"What even is the goal? Like why pour so many hours into reading old legal documents?" Sokka asked. 

"Because every change to my nation is documented. Some of it can stay, like this alteration to taxation on fresh fish. Most of it needs to go. We can't have banned words for grant proposals and school systems." Zuko leaned forward and held his face in his hands.

"What kind of banned words?" Sokka moved to prop himself up against the arm of Zuko's wooden chair. The ends of the arms were charred black, someone got angry while they sat here. 

"Theoretical, environmental impact, colonization, imperialism, homosexual, transgender, scientific evidence, cisgender, same-sex, non bender-"

"Fuck." Sokka whispered. Zuko stretched out his back.

"I know." Zuko groaned. Sokka had learned pretty quick that Zuko didn't like hands around his neck, so Sokka pressed his fingers against the back of his neck to dig his thumbs into the knots building from being hunched over. 

Zuko pulled out the next sheet of paper and froze. Sokka felt his shoulders grow impossibly tense, and he immediately pulled away. Zuko was breathing heavily, clutching the paper tightly in his hands. Sokka looked over his shoulder to read what was written. It took him a minute, he was out of practice deciphering the code that was the written language. 

_Winter's End, 84 AG. Prince Ozai has requested his daughter, the princess, be culled as a runt. However, Princess Ursa has made her demands for more time clear, she insists bending abilities will come with more time. The Firelord holds his order until further notice._  
_-Sage Saishi_

Sokka's head hurt, and his heart ached. How old was Zuko when this was written? He was born Summer of 83, so he'd been less than a year. Less than a year before his father decided it wasn't worth keeping him around. Sokka's heart felt heavy and cold in his chest. Zuko flipped to the next page. 

_Spring, 90 AG. The prince has decided on the name Zuko, with the help of ~~her~~ his mother. Prince Ozai refuses to address the change and has reinstated his order. Princess Ursa does not leave her son's side, even in sleep._ _-Sage Saishi_

"Zuko, I-"

"Don't." Zuko's hands shook. Sokka tried taking the paper from his hands, "I said don't."

"This isn't good for you." Sokka whispered. 

"It's fine." Zuko snatched the papers back. 

"It's not." Sokka put a hand on his shoulder. Zuko shrugged him off and moved to the next page. 

_Spring, 95 AG. Lu Ten has been killed in the seige of Ba Sing Sae. Azulon has ordered Ozai carry out his deed on his own to success the throne. Princess Ursa has begged her husband to save her son's life. I do not know what fate has in store for her, but I fear the worst._ _-Sage Saishi_

_Revisited: Azulon was killed in the night after writing Firelord Ozai in as his successor. Princess Ursa was executed as well, a private ordeal of course. Prince Zuko is still alive, but my stomach turns at the thought of what will come of the boy. His emotions are unbalanced and frantic, I feel sorry for him. Perhaps I will bring him spicy sweetheart cakes._ _-Sage Saishi_

Sokka heard Zuko muttering to himself, his whole body shook. Sokka could feel the gears in his head stalling, like a branch got caught in their teeth. What could he do? What did Zuko need? He knelt down next to him and gently pulled his hands away from the papers to hold him softly. 

"Zuko, come here. Come talk to me." Sokka tugged lightly on his arm. 

Tears rolled down Zuko's cheeks, carving into his soft skin, "Azula always lies."

Sokka pressed Zuko's hand to his face and kissed his wrist. He coaxed Zuko out of his chair and into his lap on the floor, holding him tightly against his chest. Did Zuko know his mother was dead? Did he know his father wanted him dead? Sokka could get answers later, for now he had a crying boy to tend to. 

"It's alright, you're safe here with me." Sokka whispered, "Nothing can hurt you right now."

"She's not dead, Azula is a liar." Zuko sobbed. Sokka combed through the hair he left out of his wolf tail. Sokka kissed the top of his head. 

"I'm here. I'm right here with you." Sokka rocked him back and forth, trying desperately to clutch at the memory of when he learned his mother had died. He couldn't hold it in his mind, it kept slipping away, like a seal escaping capture.

"She can't be dead." Zuko said quietly. Sokka remembered his father's hands shaking as he held Sokka and his sister. He remembered the incoherent rambling as Hakoda tried to assure them it would all be okay. He remembered hearing his father's heart fluttering painfully in his chest when he held Sokka close. 

"Things will be alright. She'd be so proud of you. You're the Firelord, you're the Avatar's teacher, you ended a war that lasted a century, imagine how much love she'd feel for you." Sokka squeezed him tighter. 

"I have to find her, Sokka. I have to prove Azula wrong." Zuko tried to stand back up, but Sokka held him down. He wasn't leaving until he could calm himself down to stop crying. 

~*~

Zuko marched into the hospital with Sokka following close behind. A nurse guided the pair through the halls and into a visitor room. The nurse let them inside, assuring them that they would supervise the entire interaction. Azula sat at a table painting her shirt, ragged nails. 

"Hello, Zuzu." She grinned. 

"Hello." He sat across from her, "How have you been?" 

"Bored. There's a boy with down syndrome who brings me flowers he's made out of paper. The schizophrenic girl is very sweet and sits with me at mealtimes." Azula sighed.

"I'm glad you're making new friends." Zuko said. 

"What do you want, oh brother of mine?" Azula rolled her eyes.

"What happened to Mother?" Zuko leaned forward. 

"I told you, father killed her so you could live. Not that he cared what happened to you." Azula giggled. 

"How'd she die then?" Zuko asked. Sokka's eyes ping-ponged back and forth between the two.

"I don't know, I was 10 and they never found a body. But I know father was very proud of the ceremonial sword he kept on display, and I know private executions often involve swords. Really Zuzu you should use your head more." Azula shrugged.

"You're lying." Zuko exclaimed.

"Why would I lie about my own mother's death?" Azula rolled her eyes. 

"You never liked her." Zuko pointed out. 

"I hated her most days, but she was still my mother." Azula sneered at him, "Still hanging with the Water Tribe peasant?"

Sokka took a deep breath. It's not a big deal, he can just sit through it. 

"He is a prince and my fiancé, be respectful." Zuko stated calmly. 

Azula cackled, "So Mai was right after all. I thought you were with that sweet little Earth Kingdom girl."

"We broke up." Sokka told her. 

"Oh what a shame." Azuma sighed, "Well if that's all you wanted, I have arts and crafts in 30 minutes and it's the only thing bringing me joy in this miserable le wasteland."

"What happened to her body?" Zuko asked. 

"Gee, I don't know." Azula let a candle flame dance around her fingers before extinguishing it. 

"You think this is funny?" Zuko asked. 

"No, I'm heartbroken, I've just moved on. Just as you ought to do." Azula stared daggers into his chest. 

"Then I'll leave you to your arts and crafts." Zuko stood to leave. 

"Do come back for another visit, it's so dull in here by myself." Azula sighed. Zuko took Sokka's hand and pulled him out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Ursa isn't canonically dead, but I think this makes more sense. So uh, fuck the comics I guess.


	15. Zuko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Canon typical childhood trauma
> 
> TW: A legend mentions suicide, execution, and a dead baby
> 
> That bit with the legend will be between the "--" for those who'd rather skip it.

Zuko couldn't sleep. Something was keeping him up, but he wasn't sure what. He didn't know what time it was, but the sky outside his windows was still dark. He could hear something just brushing up against his range of hearing. It was coming from his left, and his hearing was never quite the same after the accident. He brought a small flame to life in his hands and padded over softly to the wall he shared with Sokka's room. He cupped his hand around his ear and pressed it up against the wall.

He heard quiet little cries coming from his room. Zuko bit his lip softly and tip toed out of his room. He should make sure Sokka was okay. He snuck down the hall as opened the door as quietly as he could. Sokka ducked under the covers, facing away from Zuko. 

"Hey," Zuko whispered, "You doing okay? I heard noises."

"Yeah, just uh, you know." Sokka's voice cracked as he sniffled, "Jacking off or whatever."

"Thats the worst lie I've ever heard." Zuko stepped closer, "What's up?" 

"Nothing. It's not a big deal." Sokka muttered. 

"Are you sure? We can play a game if you want." Zuko muttered and sat at the foot of his bed. 

"Same rules?" Sokka sat up, still not making eye contact. His long hair covered his face. 

Zuko nodded, "Avatar cycle, best 2 of three?" 

"Yeah, sure." Sokka threw down a fist for earth all three matches, Zuko beat him handily. He looked so sad, all hunched over and quiet. 

"What's going on? Why are you so upset?" Zuko asked, the orange glow of the fire in his hands make Sokka's skin shine like caramel. 

"Nightmares." Sokka sighed.

"Oh." Zuko muttered, "Do you wanna talk about it?" 

"Well, it was the middle of the night and my Mom was standing on the ocean. Not in it, on it, like it was solid. And then there was the black snow again, and I ran to her, but she fell through the water before I could reach her. And I turned around and Yue was there, and she told me I-" Sokka let out a sob.

Zuko placed his free hand on Sokka's arm, "Do you want a hug?" 

Sokka nodded. Zuko put out his fire and wrapped him up tightly. Sokka cried into his shirt, leaving a dark tear stain on his shoulder. Zuko tucked them both back into bed and allowed Sokka to snuggle into his chest. Zuko combed through his hair, maybe it would have the same calming effect that it did on Zuko. 

"Tell me a story?" Sokka mumbled. 

"What kind of story?" Zuko asked.

"Any story." Sokka nuzzled deeper into his chest. 

\--

"There's a story my mother used to tell me about the spirit of Sleeping Mountain." Zuko said. Sokka hummed. Zuko started just as his mother had, "Long ago there was a princess."

"Yeah?" Sokka asked.

"Uh huh. Her father, the Firelord, brought her hundreds of men from all across the Fire Nation, all to be her suitors. But she fell madly in love with a lowly stable boy. She knew their love could never be, so she kept their relationship a secret from the Firelord. When she found out she was pregnant, she ran away with her love to live out their life in peace. They made camp in the caves and the stable boy left to find food." Zuko was falling fast in love with the feeling of Sokka in his arms.

"No, don't leave your pregnant girlfriend alone in a weird cave. That's not cool." Sokka said. 

"He gets captured by the Firelord's soldiers and accused of kidnapping the princess, and he was killed for his crime against the Fire Nation."

"I fucking called it." Sokka whispered. Zuko kissed the top of his head. 

"When she learned of his husband's death, she killed herself in the cave, along with the baby she was carrying. When she died, her blood became the river and her body grew into the Sleeping Mountain, where you can still see her laying." Zuko told him. 

\--

"That's sad as all hell." Sokka told him. 

"Some say they can see her spirit in the caves." Zuko told him. 

"We could send Aang in there with his weird magic. I don't know why, but we could." Sokka chuckled through his tears. 

"I think she'd like to stay undisturbed there. Since it's a gravesite and all." Zuko felt like a real boy with Sokka snuggled up to his chest. He usually felt like a boy, but this was different. This was a peaceful sort of feeling, like the stars had aligned just so. The feeling he got when he looked in the mirror and noticed his adam's apple before his scar, or how broad his shoulders were that day. And here, holding Sokka and telling him stories and giving him kisses, he felt a jolt of validation and happiness, and he never wanted to let him go.

"Thanks for coming to check on me." Sokka told him. 

"I was worried about you." Zuko kissed his forehead.

"I just get so caught up in my own head sometimes, and it's hard to get out." Sokka took a deep breath, "It's weird. I only remember the raid happened at all like half the time. The other half I just know the fact that my mom was killed, but nothing else."

Zuko stayed quite. Sokka needed to tell someone about what happened, and Zuko wasn't about to ruin that for him.

"Katara always remembered it all in excruciating detail. She remembers the flags and the faces and the everything. Most of the time I'm barely aware that it happened at all, and when I do it's hard to hang onto, if that makes any sense." Sokka sighed. 

"I think it does." Zuko whispered to him.

"I don't know what my mom looked like. Sometimes I realize I don't know what Yue looked like." Sokka admitted. 

Zuko would die without that image of his mother to cling to. He needed that to hold onto. How could Sokka go on with all those missing pieces?

"I'll stop. Just stay with me, please." Sokka hid in Zuko's shirt.

"I'm here, don't worry." Zuko squeezed him tighter, "You're welcome to keep talking."

"I just feel like such an asshole. What kind of terrible son am I for forgetting what my own mom looked like? Katara said I didn't love Mom like she did, and what if she's right? What if I'm just a horrible person that never loved her?" Sokka sobbed. 

What would Iroh say? He would have some good advice. But right now, Zuko had to be Iroh, "I think the fact that it hurts is proof that you did love her, and Yue too. If you really never cared, you wouldn't be upset."

"I should be better still. I should know her face, I should know her voice, I should know what happened when it's not just the middle of the night and I'm having nightmares of black snow." Sokka's voice cracked. 

"Maybe it's just too painful right now?" Zuko suggested, "I don't remember my fight with my father at all. I remember he said a good son doesn't flinch, and it's all black."

"That's different. That's like a physical attack, you'd lose your mind if you had to remember all the time." Sokka sighed. 

"Why is your pain different?" Zuko asked softly.

Sokka was quiet for a long time, "It's just. I don't know. I feel guilty."

"I know. You can feel guilty, that's alright." Zuko combed through his hair. 

Sokka tilted his head up and captured him in a kiss. It was quick, but Zuko's lips tingled when he pulled away and ducked back into his chest. 

"Hey, Zuko. I know you're still kinda iffy on this whole thing, so I won't be mad if you don't feel the same way. But, I think I'm in love with you." Sokka said. 

Zuko blushed. His brain stalled out, what was he supposed to say?

"You don't need to say anything right now." Sokka whispered, "Maybe we can get there in the future."

"Okay. Thank you." Zuko whispered. He wished he had a better answer in this moment. He wished he had time to mull it over and think about it before he had to respond.

"I'm sorry if I make things uncomfortable." Sokka said. 

"I'm not uncomfortable. I promise. Just surprised." Zuko held him close, "How are you feeling?" 

"Like shit." Sokka sighed. 

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Zuko asked. 

"Is that okay?" 

"I'll stay with you all night if you need me to." Zuko kissed the top of his head.

"Thank you." Sokka smiled. Zuko hummed quietly until Sokka drifted back to sleep in his arms. He snored quietly, but somehow, Zuko was more comforted by the noise than annoyed by it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zuko's story is a slightly extended version (and modified enough to fit the world) of the ghost of the Tham Luang Nang Non cave in the Doi Nang Non mountain in Thailand.


	16. Sokka & Zuko

The marketplace was busier than they expected. They were wanted a quiet little Sunday stroll, and instead were given a bustling crowd.

"Sokka, which tea do you think Uncle would prefer?" Zuko held up two small dishes of dried leaves. Sokka sniffed one that smelled floral and sweet, the other smelled sour, like citrus.

He tapped the first dish lightly, "Iroh would like some rose bud tea."

Zuko frowned at the two. 

"You could buy them both." Sokka shrugged. 

"But that feels like a waste." Zuko sighed. 

"Then the rose tea." Sokka told him. 

"Master Sokka. Are we discussing tea for Regent Iroh?"

Sokka whipped around to see Master Piandao bowed before him. Sokka grinned and lept into a hug. Zuko raised his eyebrow.

"It's been so long!" Sokka exclaimed. 

"It truly has. Firelord Zuko," He bowed deeply, "My husband and I are very grateful your leadership allowed us to finally be lawfully married."

"Oh, it was nothing." Zuko shrugged off, blushing.

"I see you have Sokka's betrothal necklace. The carving is lovely." Piandao stated. 

"Thank you." Zuko nodded his head.

"Sokka is a good man, you're lucky to have him in your life." Piandao said, he turned to face the younger boy, "I'd be honored to invite you to my home for tea."

"I would love to." Sokka grinned.

"Wonderful, I'll send details to the palace." Piandao bowed and wandered away. Zuko had paid for the tea and turned to walk away from the stand. 

A small girl charged into Zuko and fell over. Zuko crouched down to help her up, she looked maybe seven years old. Her expression dropped when she saw his scar.

"Hello, what's your name?" Zuko smiled at her. Sokka watched him tentatively reach a hand out to her.

"Kaeza." She whispered, "Are you the Firelord?"

"Yeah, but I promise I'm not scary. Do you need help finding your mom or dad?" Zuko asked her softly. She nodded and took his hand.

Sokka's heart swelled as he watched the two together. Zuko had such a way with kids. Sokka was desperate to be a dad, he wanted it more than anything, and Zuko would be a perfect counterpart. He was sweet and caring and gentle with the little girl, quietly asking about her mother to help find her in the crowd. Did Zuko want to be a dad? He must. He loved kids, and he worked so well with them. Maybe one day, they could have a baby. Maybe Zuko would be willing to go through a pregnancy. Or maybe they could adopt a kid. For now, Sokka needed to cheer up this terrified little girl while they tried to find her mother. 

"Hey, Kaeza what's brown and sticky?" Sokka asked her with a smirk. She wrinkled her nose, "A stick."

She blinked up at him. 

"Sokka that's stupid." Zuko told him.

"Well she wouldn't get my good jokes." Sokka pouted.

"What's you're good joke?" Zuko asked.

"What did the jiangshi and the snowman name their baby?" Sokka asked.

Kaeza raised her hand, "Why did the snowman marry the jiangshi?"

"Because they were in love." Sokka said. 

"What happens when the snowman melts? Does it just leave the jiangshi with their baby all alone? Can their baby melt too?" She started tearing up, "Are they gonna leave the jiangshi all alone?" 

"It's just a silly story, it's not real." Zuko knelt down to give her a hug, "Sokka, does the snowman melt?"

"No, they go to a witch so the snowman can live forever with the jiangshi." Sokka put a hand on her back, "I pinkie promise."

"Kaeza!" Her mother yelled, "I've beenooking everywhere for you-oh, Firelord Zuko." She dropped down to her knees in front of him, "I'm terribly sorry for my daughter. She ran off for just a moment, I will not let it happen again."

"You don't have to bow, things happen sometimes. I'm sorry my husband made her cry with his terrible jokes." Zuko said. The woman blinked up at him, "Come on, stand up."

"You're too kind." She looked at him nervously. 

"Relax, I'm still just a person." Zuko promised.

"You're, the Firelord." The woman told them. 

"Yeah, but also a person. You have a very cute little girl." Zuko grinned. 

"Thank you, she's a little rambunctious." The woman smiled tentatively.

"That means she's full of spirit. Tend to her well." Zuko bowed and left the woman with her baby.

~*~

Zuko was feeling a lot of feelings. He kept thinking about that night with Sokka. He couldn't help but remember how small and delicate he felt, how vulnerable he had made himself. Zuko wanted to help him and kiss him better. He saw all of Sokka's little broken pieces and wanted nothing more in the world than to bear his own broken bits, and hold Sokka, and allow himself to be held.

He wanted to share his bed, and his pain, and his fear. He wanted to ease the burden and give him the power to keep going. Sokka had given him so much, and Zuko had given nothing in return. He wished he could give him the world. 

He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Maybe that necklace wasn't so heavy and cold and painful after all. Maybe it could be a new constant, a new anchor, a new love in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the short chapter. I'm going to take another break next week to get caught up on some life stuff. And then starting the 25th updates will continue every Tuesday.


	17. Zuko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Pretty heavy discussion of past sexual assault. It's kind of a lot, so just, brace yourself. Feel free to skip if you need to.
> 
> It may not be the most realistic or accurate conversation, but I was trying to avoid my own personal triggers. My apologies if it's vague.

Zuko felt sick to his stomach, he could barely breath. His hands shook. He needed this, he had to be vulnerable. He couldn't beat around the bush anymore. Sokka needed to know, he deserved to be aware of all of Zuko's pain. He wished he could throw up and just time slip to it being over. He wanted to just wake up tomorrow and have Sokka know all of it. He had been practicing his script in his room, but he would stumble at the critical point. The climax of the story would make a hot coal swell up in his throat and burn until his eyes watered in pain.

Sokka opened his door and immediately whisked Zuko inside. He reached out to hold Zuko's face but pulled away at the last moment, instead holding his soft hands. 

"I need to tell you something." Zuko choked out. 

"What's up? Are you okay?" Sokka kissed his knuckles.

Zuko blanked. His whole script was thrown out the window. His lines were jumbled together with thoughts and feelings into a mess unlike any other, "Something happened to me when I was a kid."

"Oh, baby, you don't need to tell me about your dad. If I did something to upset you then I'm so sorry, you can just give me the word and I'll stop. I-"

"It's not my dad." Zuko scowled.

"Was it Jet? Did he-" 

"It's Zhao." Zuko broke him off. Sokka blinked.

"What happened?" He inched forward. 

"Before the accident," Zuko up gestured to his face, "I think I was 12. Zhao invited me in for tea. He said he'd invited others, but no one ever came. I, I don't remember why, or exactly what happened next."

"Sweetheart, you don't need to tell me if it hurts." Sokka promised. 

"But I need to. I need someone to know." Zuko realized he was already choking back tears, "He gave me tea, and it's all kind of fuzzy? Does that make sense? It just went weird and it was hard to move and everything felt tingly and numb. I couldn't react, I was just sort of there."

"He gave you something?" Sokka asked.

"I don't know what, but I think so. He carried me to this back bedroom and I remember he took my clothes off and I know after he got my pants off and saw, you know, all that, he, he, he-"

"Okay, okay, you're okay. You're safe. You're here." Sokka pulled him in for a hug. Loose enough Zuko could push away of he needed to. 

Zuko let out a sob, "It hurt so bad. I didn't know what was going on. I just remember feeling like I was ripping in half and I wanted to scream or push or kick or something, but I barely knew how to use my legs at all." 

"What do you need from me, baby?" Sokka asked. 

"Hold me." Zuko choked. Tears streamed down his cheeks. 

"Am I the only one that knows?" Sokka combed through his hair and squeezed him tightly. Zuko nodded, "Okay, I'm here, I'm with you, thank you for telling me."

Zuko pressed his face close to Sokka's chest. His breathing was hard and heavy. His heart felt like coal burning painfully in his chest. Hot tears seared his cheeks. 

"You're so good, thank you for trusting me, it's not easy to talk about." Sokka kissed the top of his head and rocked his back and forth. 

"He told my father he knew about my stupid secret and he'd keep quiet if father cooperated. He said he'd kill me if I told anyone what he did." Zuko hiccuped.

"Well you don't need to worry about him," Sokka said quietly, "Aang got to him first. And if he comes around causing trouble, Aang can kick his ass all over again."

Zuko laughed through his tears, "I'm still scared."

"Do you wanna sleep with boomerang?" Sokka looked down at him with a smile, "He took down Sparky Sparky Boom Man all by himself, he can handle some bitch that was so weak he needed to blackmail a child to join the army."

"Thanks." Zuko smiled.

"I don't think you're appreciating boomerang's power here." Sokka's expression turned serious. 

"You knocked me in the head with it the first time we met. Zuko sniffled. The pain in his chest eased. Sokka was slowly picking apart the knot in his chest and diffusing Zuko's anxiety into a bittersweet calm. 

"Boomerang would never do such a thing now. He trusts you." Sokka brushed Zuko's hair back. 

Zuko wanted to ask to sleep with Sokka instead. He wanted to feel safe, wrapped in those big tan arms. He wanted to be protected. But he didn't say such things. He kept that to himself, "If you think he trusts me, then I'll sleep with him."

"I'll let him know," Sokka kissed the top of his head, "Remember if there's something I do that's uncomfortable, please tell me. Even if you just don't like a pet name, or you don't want me to touch a certain spot, anything. Tell me and I'll stop, no questions asked."

"Thank you." Zuko choked out. 

"You deserve nothing less." Sokka said. 

"I love you." Zuko looked up at him. 

"I love you too." Sokka kissed his temple. 

Zuko was hardly shocked by Sokka's nonchalance, but there was a pang in his heart that Sokka hadn't tried harder. In this shared moment of vulnerablity, Sokka hadn't tried. But Sokka had a logical, almost clinical view of the world around them, something to be studied and teased apart, not treasured and held close. 

"You should tell your uncle. I think he'd help you a lot." Sokka pushed a stray strand of hair behind Zuko's ear.

"I can't." Zuko barely spoke at all. 

"I think it'll feel better. He's a lot better at stuff like this than I am. I can come with you, I can hold your hand the whole way through." Sokka said.

"Sokka, I can't. I can't talk about it all again. I can't relive what happened again. It hurts so bad." Zuko felt the tears starting to pick at his still watering eyes. 

"Let's revisit this in the morning then baby, I can help you plan this all out." Sokka promised, "Let's get you snacks and some water, and maybe we can take a nap. Okay?" 

"Okay." Zuko nodded. 

Sokka carried him on his back to the kitchen. The servents all stood at attention, tasks all left abandoned the moment the pair walked in. 

"Firelord Zuko is sad and requires snacks to make him happy. And also some water please." Sokka announced to the room. Zuko hid his face in Sokka's shoulders. He heard a few snickers from around the room, but they got to work making a range of snacks just for him. 

Sokka set him down on an empty stretch of counter and stood between his legs, Zuko rested his forehead on his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright yall, I took a real break this time. We're good. My brain doesn't want to die, and we can cruise on through to the end yall.


End file.
